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You got
over mixing beer with liquor in high school-we know. But there you are at the bar throwing back a handful of
unmarked pills with a severely under-mixed cocktail. Is your lonely homo existence worth so
little? Don't you want to at least get
through that Vanity Fair piece on
Matthew McConaughy? We're no
experts-more like Nurse Ratched than Florence Nightingale-but in honor of the holiday season, we thought
we'd give you a by-no-means-complete list of the fatal gay drug interactions that
killed so many we loved and loved to hate. Stay alive! We want to mock
you.
Rush and Viagra
Apparently,
the 'nitrate' part of amyl nitrate (also known as poppers) can cause dangerous
drops in blood pressure when mixed with those pills that direct your blood flow
to, um, your southern extremities. Of course, we shouldn't fail to mention that
rigor mortis also gets you hard quick.
Appletini and Valium
Drinking
alcohol alongside any number of sedatives-like Valium, Ativan, Dalmane,
Nembutal and Seconal-can cause depressed cardiac response and can greatly
increase the chance of Sudden Adult Death syndrome. Chances improve dramatically if you're old
and your ticker's not as nubile as that of, say, Marilyn Monroe. Oops! Too
late!
Booze and Blow
Cocaine might
counteract the effects of drinking late at night and make you think that you're
not a deathly bore, but it also does a fatal punch on your liver. (Tylenol isn't much better, but it takes a
little longer and is not as glamorous.) Though your embattled liver does its best to metabolize each substance if ingested on its own,
studies have shown that the blood-cleansing organ works overtime to create a third metabolizer
to handle the combo meal of liquor and blow together. Of course, for you hardcore drunks, there's
probably cirrhosis in your future no matter what. Drink up, sad clown!
E and HIV
Recent
studies have shown that AIDS drugs can potentially greatly increase the
toxicity of that MDMA you just took, leading to spontaneous death. Now that's a
drug cocktail!
Grey Goose and G
The most
popular way to die these days, whether in the Pines or Palm Springs, is by mixing GHB with alcohol.
You'd think we were goths, the way we faggots down this stuff! (Maybe because
it's so good for date rapes?) G is made from floor stripper, people, not simple
syrup or tonic. So add a Cosmo to this
colorless, odorless, tactless solution and your entire pulmonary apparatus goes
to sleep as well. Good night, sweet princess.
We hardly knew thee.
Paisley and Stripes
Just
kidding! We love this new look. Ugly is the new pretty. YAY!
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