Wishing You a Mary Xmas: The Sword Holiday Music Panel

MM-XmasCarolsTHUMB.jpgAs Andy Warhol once enthused about Coke (we mean the soda, fiends): it’s the same whether you’re a bum, the President, or Liz Taylor—money can’t buy you a better one and it always tastes the same. We suppose we could say that about holiday music as well; no matter how pressed your body, nor how big your dick, nor how many guest lists you’re on, you’ve still got the same schmaltz every December—or so it would seem.We asked a few of our favorite resident pervs about their favorite holiday music.


(scroll down to hear tunes)


mr pam.jpg
MR PAM
Director, The Tim and Roma Show; Videographer, Dreams of Rafael (Black Scorpion, 2007)

“Away in a Manger,” Traditional

Reminds me of Catholic school and how we performed the nativity play in church.  I was the Virgin Mary, Jesus was this guy Josh who I had a crush on.  Ironically, he had this giant penis (for an 8th grader—I'd love to see it now) and his was the first dick I sucked (at the Glen Frey concert at the Sonoma County Fair). I love that Christmas carol!


steve_cruzTHUMB.jpgSTEVE CRUZ
Raging Stallion Man of the Year; star, Limits (Mustang, 2007)

“Christmas In Hollis” by Run-DMC

Christmas music is the worst—artistically speaking!  [But] everything Run-DMC is just automatically cool… even a Christmas song. Bah humbug!





Photo by Aaron Plant

JUANITA MORE!
San Francisco nightlife legend; hostess, Booty Call

“How Can Santa Come to Puerto Rico?” by Ricky Vera & Steve Allen

Probably the cutest Christmas song ever recorded—Little Ricky Vera is so damn adorable asking for snow in Puerto Rico. Every time I hear it all I want to do is eat some Arroz Con Pollo.


 

Julian_Tongue175-2.jpgJULIAN MARSHBURN
Mr. San Francisco Leather 2004

“Merry Christmas Darling” by The Carpenters

It’s Karen Carpenter! Need I say more? It’s both tragic and beautiful … just like Christmas.






 

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JAKE DECKARD
NakedSwordsman 2007; star, GRUNTS (Raging Stallion, 2007)

Hard Candy Christmas” by Dolly Parton

Yeah, it made me cry once—fuck off.




 




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