When she isn't visiting Britney in the hospital, NY performer Hedda Lettuce has been pounding the pavement on the campaign trail in a valiant bid for the presidency, but this past weekend saw the drag legend almost throwing in the towel after a poor showing in the Iowa caucuses. In two consecutive blog posts, Lettuce resigned the race in favor of pursuing a list of other goals ("learning how to bake, needlepoint, drug mule, cult leader") and then courageously rescinded her resignation, saying "I will continue to campaign... until someone puts a gun to my head."
Racial stereotypes and spurious claims of tricking with Huckabee aside,
Ms. Lettuce has a number of unique positions on the real issues at
hand.
As discussed in a YouTube campaign
announcement, she may have the clearest plan of any candidate for
coping with global warming:
"If the world does go POP and we use this planet up like a hooker uses a Kleenex to wipe off
her chin, I personally will fly to Mars to see if we can populate that
planet and destroy it also."
So please, gentle
Americans, take some time out from the confusing media clusterfucks of
caucuses and primaries, and hear what Hedda has to say on the issues
affecting us. And while you're at it, visit her website to hear what she has to say to President Bush.
Comments