|
Written by patrik
|
|
Tuesday, 12 February 2008 04:08 |
...Or so we'd think after hearing the news that every fag's favorite country singer and living cartoon Dolly Parton was forced to cancel her upcoming tour due to back-related health problems. We imagined sweet Dolly might be holed up in Dollywood with a thermometer in her mouth, being tended to by plaid-clad farmhands in straw hats and serenaded by bluebirds, while Disney flora and fauna from around her windowsill weep with worry, until her press release reminded us that not even lugging around two triple-H cups with a back-brace can get our good old girl down!
"I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over
backwards trying to get my new Backwoods Barbie CD and world tour
together, but I didn't mean to hurt myself doing it! But hey, you try
wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back
problems. Seriously though, the doctors said I will be good as new in a
few weeks, and I can't wait to get back out there. See you soon, Dolly."
Hopefully Backwoods Barbie and her rack, nicknamed "Shock" and "Awe," will all make a speedy recovery.
RELATED:
Dolly Parton Postpones Tour as Breast Are "Pain in the Back" (Daily Mail)
Dolly Parton Admits Her Breasts Are More Famous Than She Is (Showbiz Spy)
|
Comments