This "27"-year-old tanning bed and Botox dreamboat comes via Craigslist LA, which we swear has to have the craziest M4M posts in all the land.  Love the heart-shaped pillow there, guy.  For realz, we can't believe you can't score a date. (Click to enlarge.)














Word of advice: If you're looking for sex on Craigslist, maybe you want to save the pleas to lost (or unrequited) loves for a separate pathetic Missed Connections post that Alejandro will never read. (Click to enlarge.)













Because this is San Francisco, we're not actually sure if this is a joke:
i am making a fabulous 6 course dinner here at my apartment on valentine's day for just the two of us. you will come over late, unshowered, smelling of booze and sex, ill-tempered, provoke arguments, ruin my kitchen, punch me, leave, slam the door, leave me weeping and alone on the floor.
(Click to enlarge.)








A well-meaning friend posted this ad for a "Valentin's" date for sad Long Beach goth Aaron.  We're pretty sure that no matter who she chooses from among the undoubtedly hundreds of respondents to this post, Aaron will hate them and spend the entire date pouting and talking about Blaqk Audio.
(Click to enlarge.)











This isn't really a contest, but... we have a winner!  Our WeHo friend here "got fat recently" but of course he "still likes in shape guys under 40."  The best part, besides the picture, is that he promises to bring you candy and take you out for pizza if you blow him. (Click to enlarge.) 

...And scene.










RELATED:
5 Ways to Ease Your Valentine's Pain