Amy Winehouse, Michelle Obama Invade Fire Island Pines Amy Winehouse and Michelle Obama were among those attending the annual Fire Island Pines Invasion...more
Objections Begin Over Gay Nup Children’s Book “Concerned” citizens are already bitching about Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, a children’s book about gay marriage...more
'Spider-Man: The Musical' Open Call Seeks Vocally Gifted Peter Parker Types A little over a year ago, we noted that celebrated director/visual-flourishist Julie Taymor would be tackling...more
John McCain on Gay Adoption, Marriage, the Internet In an interview with the NYT on Sunday, John McCain said flat out that he doesn't believe gay couple...more
Can't A Bitch Enter A Peen Sucking Contest Without Getting Arrested?! This story has nothing to do with Wonky McValtrex, but I googled "dick sucking competition" and this...more
Blogs Breathlessly Await Anderson Cooper's Outing, Mine Web for Anecdotes in the Meantime
Sure, we're as smitten with CNN's Anderson Cooper as the next faggot—okay, maybe not totally as smitten—but we've never understood what the big deal is about celebrities coming out of the closet, especially if they don't pretend to be straight in the first place like certain Will Smiths we know. Sites like Gawker and Queerty, however, have become so rabid in their anticipation of a grand gesture from Anderson that they've taken to reporting every detail they can find about him, however insignificant, and painstakingly analyzing how it relates to his sex life. Sometimes puzzling and often hilarious, we've sifted through the heap of Anderson- Cooper-isms that point to his gayness and present our favorites now.
For your consideration:
Anderson Gets a Spray-Tan! (video moved here.) This vintage clip from a pretty dated episode of American Morning features Coop shirtless and dancing around in a spray-tanning vessel to ensure that none of his "bits n' pieces" are left pale, which is an Anderson-ism frequently used to denote genitalia, and has been getting viewers particularly hot and bothered these days. We love his joke about becoming a tranny in a bikini and the heart tattoo at the end. Simply adorbz!
Anderson Kicks it with Kathy Griffin on New Year's Eve and Sends Ryan Seacrest Cute Text Messages! We've always known that Ryan Seacrest and Anderson Cooper were bosom buddies, as evidenced in the video below just after Ryan finished up interviewing Nicole Richie for Larry King LIVE (natural hair color our ASSES, btw), but according to Kathy Griffin's new stand-up routine, their friendship is shame-based and she doesn't approve. The text messaging anecdote is one of particular OMGenius. We imagine that every time Ryan checks his iPhone and discovers a note from A.C. his heart skips a beat.
Spotted: Anderson Chillaxing With His Homeboys At That Kathy Griffin Show Where She Calls His Friendship With Ryan Seacrest Shame-Based! Sakes alive! A faithful Gawker stalker reported seeing Anderson out-and-about with his pals (pun intended, because we write puns that give Carrie Bradshaw a pun for her money ----zzzzing!) at Kath-Griff's NYC performance: "He looked great - huge arms and a big smile. Silver-haired perfection," the source breathlessly exclaimed. Somehow, this one seals the deal on a gay-rumor that has long been established as fact.
When you group all of these together with the fact that he has the most fabulously promiscuous mother in American history, the gayness is indeed inarguable, and we'll no doubt continue reading these quirky sightings and watching the viral clips as they come until the anticlimactic day when an A.C. "I'm Gay" cover hits People, when we'll instantaneously lose complete interest and so will everyone else.
Leave a comment