It's the only fetish John Waters thinks is creepy, and seriously, we're not really all that keen on real babies. But repeated viewings of HBO's Real Sex and our constant need for discovering new and exciting perversions has led us to spend the week ogling adult babies. (And, no, this has nothing to do with either the porn star baby pictures or our fascination with outing the children of celebrities.) Grab your rattle (we'll grab our coat-hangers) for a quick stroll(er) through the land of the dirty nappy.
Dommy Mommies
Adult baby-ism isn't really about sex. It's about relinquishing control, needing care and not wanting to watch Frontline all the time. While we can identify with this, especially when taxes or the post office are concerned, we still like to wipe ourselves. Of course, not every boyfriend wants to come home tired after a long day and have to clean up their boyfriend's shit. Professional Dommy Mommies (and Daddies) are often former general-practice dominatrices who transitioned into their special roles because they smelled a untapped market worth tapping. We thought we smelled an opportunity here, but it was just an unchanged baby.
Diaper Rash
For some AB's, it's just your basic pee fetish with the added bonus of getting to feel the warmth against your skin in your diaper. Leave it to the Adult Babyists to write a guide to becoming incontinent, on purpose and lead us to believe that we're actually inside the cable TV and about to bump into that guy from Nip/Tuck who wanted to become an amputee on purpose. Other DLs ("diaper lovers" as some Adult Babies identify) fetishize the puffy diaper itself, like a big padded jockstrap where you could have a total boner underneath and no one would ever know.
Except for the fact that you're dancing like guy in Silence of the Lambs.
Gayby-For-Pay Models Are Laughing At You
Pervy old men with rattles aren't the only ones in on the AB/DL circuit. In the grand tradition of Sean Cody, Randy Blue and Rod Barry, there's always a twink ready to don a bib and pacifier for a buck or two. There are teen babies (TB), but judging by the bored looks on some of their faces, the photographer/webmaster didn't even pay them enough to pretend.
Waaaah! Buy Me a Dolly!
ABs might save on food, but they end up spending it on reinforced cradles. In addition to hand-sewn adult onesies and baby underwear, there are sites like this one which sell adult-sized cribs, cradles, high-chairs, rocking horses and play pens.
Like any other psycho sexual fetish, the DL/AB's have their own clubs, message boards and websites. But come near us and going to leave you in the car with the windows rolled up. You can thank us later for not showing you this definitely NSFW photo.
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