I Want My M4MTV: A User's Guide To Gay Cable

MM-DantesCoveTH.jpgGay cable television stations are a little like porn star blogs. You keep hoping and hoping you're going to find something worth paying attention to, but instead it's all navel-gazing pep talks and GHB-fueled cautionary tales. Actually, we wish gay cable was that interesting—we took a break this weekend from the porno blogs to see how the non-oral-cumshot-hand-wringing-set entertains itself. We're going back to smut tomorrow.













MM-TVhere.jpgHere!
  • Tagline: Gay Television On Demand
  • Date-ability: Gay-for-Pay. Here! only exists as an on-demand option in most cable networks
  • Top Shows: The Lair, Dante's Cove
  • Flesh Factor: Medium High. The Lair and Dante's Cove both show an occasional buttock and lots of topless men (with the odd, quick shot of full frontal thrown in), falling somewhere between the camp of NBC's Passions and the explicit shots of HBO's Tell Me You Love Me. Lots of the bodice-ripping indie films like Shelter
  • Other properties: Radio/Podcasts (Here with Josh and Sara)
  • Tolerant Parent: Regent Entertainment finances and produces varied gay independent programming
  • Porn Connections: Dylan Vox, aka GayVN-winner Brad Benton, stars on The Lair

MM-tvlogo.jpgLogo
  • Describes Itself As:  "Entertainment programming for lesbians and gays and just about anyone who enjoys a gay point of view."
  • Date-ability: Available in most major top urban markets, replacing VH1's Mega-Hits Channel.
  • Top Shows: The Big Gay Sketch Show, Noah's Arc
  • Flesh Factor: Low. Logo's policy of "maintaining an appropriate level of content standards for a sponsor-friendly cable channel" means that gay viewers won't be seeing a rear-view anytime soon.
  • Straight Parent: Viacom's MTV Networks
  • Little Gay Brother:  American Idol also-ran Jim Verraros gives us video blog updates on this season's contestants on LogoOnline.com and news service 365Gay keeps us up-to-date on all the latest news that's not interesting enough for a regular site to report ("NY Rangers Not Doing Enough To Silence Homophobic Fans")
  • Porn Connections: Former porn star Colton Ford has hosted the network's NewNowNext music show.


MM-tvQ.jpgQTV
  • Describes Self As: The first LGBT network, but angry shareholders and unhappy employees accuse it of being a lying hooker that stole all their money and spent it on crystal.
  • Date-ability:  The network is no more. You could try being a Correctional Institute pen pal, though.
  • Porn Connections: It once was in talks to stream the soft-core version of  porn soap Wet Palms





MM-TVbravo.jpgBravo
  • Tagline: Watch What Happens.
  • Date-ability: The loosest goose in the bunch takes on 79 million viewers a year, but asks that "U B discreet"
  • Top Shows: Project Runway, Make Me A Supermodel, Life on the D-List
  • Bottom Bitches: Boy Meets Boy, Queer Eye for the Straight Girl
  • Flesh Factor: Medium. Supermodel is shower-nozzle masturbation material for sure, but otherwise you're more likely to hear fierce than see flesh.
  • Semi-Tolerant Parent: NBC Universal, which maintains as-long-as-the-neighbors-don't-gossip standard
  • Little Gay Brother: OutZoneTV.com, where gay exiles from their reality shows (think Malan from Project Runway) maintain blogs on their post-show lives and charming flotsom like a "Gay of the Day" post.
  • Gay Porn Connection: Kathy Griffin Hosted the GayVN Awards in 2007


RELATED:
Tranny Fierceness And Gratuitous Male Nudity Keep Bravo On Gay TiVOs Everywhere
365gay.com: The Great Snoozeflash Aggregator
Cosmo, Girl? The New Gay Minstrelsy


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