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Written by mike
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Tuesday, 29 April 2008 05:31 |
Corey Taylor may have published his biography Naked: The Life and Pornography of Michael Lucas last June, but since Lucas didn't like it (he called the fawning work "an unmitigated disaster," and we see his point), we never got a copy. And after reading Aiden Shaw's, My Undoing we sort of swore not to pick up another porn bio again. A year later, we were bored enough to open the mail from a publicist hoping to breathe life into a moribund paperback, and found that the wisdom of Mr. Lucas shines through the ham-handed prose.
The take-aways, as we see them:
Superhuman Michael Not Only Has Sex with Women, He Likes Period Blood
Lucas
has always been exceedingly sexual (boasting at times of having invaded
Savanna Samson's rear-end during the filming of La Dolce Vita) but one
of his first sexual experiences, with a married woman named Galina
involved timing her sexual cycles to when he could cum. Years later,
when an old flame named Ivanna surfaces, Michael tries his hand at another
straight relationship: "I couldn't stop smelling my hand all day. She
had her period and it wouldn't stop me from eating her out; I loved it
so much."
The Former Hooker Has a Heart of Gold... and Maybe a Watch of Gold, Too.
Lucas
launched his business on money he made escorting, and while he no
longer escorts, he has some advice for current escorts: Keep your
personal life separate, don't go to a drunk or stoned john's house, and
don't drink the water while you're there. But most importantly, don't
take checks: "One time I took a check from an old man, and he was about
ninety years old, and his check bounced... and, you know, I'm not
fighting with an old man. I didn't give a fuck [but] it gave me a
lesson." Later, Lucas would learn that you could take CDs and watches
for payment.
He'd Be Oscar Wilde, If Oscar Wilde Hadn't Been Such a Bottom
"I
never regret that I went to places like Omaha, Nebraska. I mean,
there's nothing wrong with knowing how bad it is. I've been there. I
saw it. I would never go again. It's a place without a face-corn
fields and corn-fed people-it's absolutely terrible... but I go to
places like that and entertain the people who don't come to New York,
who are born, live, work and die in Nebraska wearing ugly clothes,
working on the ugly street and reading the disgusting newspaper." We
couldn't agree more.
He'd Be Hillary Clinton, If Hillary Clinton Still Had a Period
"Everything
I wanted to get, I always got, and it's only a question of time. I
don't let things go. I am very honest and hardworking, and sometimes
people would say I'm a bitch... I did what I needed to do. And I did
what was right."
RELATED:
New Republic Deems Lucas "Neocon Kingpin"
Lucas Calls Quest Allegations 'Mental' and 'Cheesy'
Michael Lucas Official Website
By Naked: The Life and Pornography of Michael Lucas on Amazon
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