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Study Says Happier Monkeys from Better Homes Do Less Cocaine You ever hear of the study with rhesus monkeys where, when it was readily available and easy to imbibe, the monkeys overwhelmingly preferred cocaine over their own provided food? Sound familiar? Well now there's a new study that takes the cocaine-monkey research a step further, suggesting that subordinate monkeys (as opposed to the alpha chimps in charge) are most likely to turn to blow when they are put under stress. However, when placed in a nicer, larger cage with more room to move around, all the monkeys exhibited less drug response and started making the healthier choice of food a bit more often.Researchers are eager to apply this "to the human situation" and suggest that (SNOOZEFLASH!) a "nicer home life" might be the key to less drug use. Monkey-loving science nerd Michael Nader of Wake Forest University Medical School goes so far as to exclaim, "We are talking about just a slightly improved living condition. Imagine what the effect could be with higher quality enrichment, such as interesting activities." Imagine! All we can imagine is that this is all the more reason not to live in New York, where every apartment we can afford is a dingy shoebox and everywhere you go your personal space gets unceremoniously invaded, but we don't think our SF dealer is sweating it for customers these days. Maybe we should all just move to Montana. RELATED: The Sword Guide to Gay Party Drugs: Cocaine Stressed Cocaine Monkeys Just Like Us (Gawker) Stress, Larger Home Affect Cocaine Use (UPI) | save to del.icio.us | digg it | facebook it | Comments (0) 0 TrackBacksListed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Study Says Happier Monkeys from Better Homes Do Less Cocaine. TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.thesword.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1120 |
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If you're famous, and you want to do cocaine (or smoke crack), our best advice is: don't do it, because you're a role model. Ha ha.
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