The Sword Presents Jesse Metcalfe's Chest Hair: The Evolution

CS-jessemTH.jpg Graphing the life cycle of trends in male grooming can be difficult. For example, Adnan Ghalib. For some, a full beard, opaque dark chest, and strands of back hair that you can make braids out of is a classic look that will never go out of style. For others, waxing and shaving is an addiction that knows no bounds, and total baldness will always be a goal. However, we've noticed in recent years a steady decline in manscaping and a penchant for the hairier, more rugged aesthetic, both in porn and in mainstream Hollywood. Instead of building a complex chart, timeline, or bar graph on this formidably intellectual matter, let's just watch Jesse Metcalfe as a cultural litmus test.
Clean cut, bright-eyed, and not-so-bushy-tailed, Jesse entered stage left on ABC's Desperate Housewives to find a rabid fan base of middle-aged cougars, who salivated over his clean cut appearance, perfectly tweezed eyebrows, and hairless torso. Much like the cosmopolitan studs of gay porn in the early Y2K, Jesse was a smooth young fantasy for our moms. A feast for the senses! He looked kinda photoshopped. As new myspace photos surfaced of him sporting a new chest rug and a beard, we went through his image gallery to see how this new adventure in masculinity came about. It looked kind of like this:

Jesse takes a trip to Hawaii in Fall 2007:


Around the end of his trip his 5 o'clock shadow spreads down to his chest (along with a rash?):


Jesse then gets bloody on the set for an upcoming slasher movie:


And finally, on a Bahamian beach, Jesse unleashes his inner Wolverine:


There. Do you understand now? If Jesse Metcalfe stopped shaving, it's officially O-V-E-R.


RELATED:
Big, Shirtless Clusterfuck of Wolverine Stars Takes Sydney By Storm
JESSE METCALFE: HAIR TO STAY (EthanSays.com)


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