Care of The Sword's tireless editors we bring you this listing of weekly parties (by no means complete, or even-handed) in three homo-happy metropolises: San Francisco, New York, and LA. (Sorry, Cheyenne, we still may never get to you.)
For more up-to-the-minute parties, check the Sword homepage Thursday night to Sunday for our coverage of one-offs and monthlies happening that weekend.
Charlie Horse @ The Cinch
1723 Polk St
9PM, show at Midnight
Come for Charlie Horse's usual mix of rough-and-tumble rock-and-roll trannies, stay to see if Anna Conda gets in a fight with another straight girl heckler. As always, there's a "no yuppies!" rule, and 2-4-1 drinks from 10-11PM.
It used to be called Detour, and then Jet, and then owner Greg Bronstein expanded into the gallery next door and put in a fancy four-sided bar. Voila. When the music's right, a good time can be had here.
Cazwell, Amanda Lepore and all their besties pack one floor of this three-level dance den. Move on down to Addict or Gary 49 for rotating DJs if that scene gets tired.
The themes rotate (one Friday it's uniforms, then it's leather, then rubber, then breeches, etc.) but the vibe, and the beer, remain comfortingly the same. Check the link if you want to be costumed correctly.
This place is cruisier than its chic decor lets on, and you never know when a come-hither handshake might lead to a one-night stand with a theatre queen. (Mamma Mia's around the corner.)
The boys are drunk (or high), the men are horny, and the music -- delights of the 80s like Boy George and Erasure -- is loud at this party that dates back to, like, the early 90s. How quickly 80s nostalgia began, and how long it has persisted...
They call it "Sophisticated Saturdays" because sometimes the boys there wear polos and cardigans. Mostly it's just a shitshow like everywhere else in the Castro, but with $4 cover, some are discouraged.
It's the only after-hours in West Hollywood, so expect the usual WeHo cornucopia of trainers who are really models, retail queens who are really set-dressers and former models who are now graphic designers all dancing to Rihanna and drinking Ketel sodas.
Tattoo @ The Stud
399 9th St at Harrison
10PM - 3AM
DJ Adrian Taylor (a.k.a. porn stud Dominic Pacifico) and Bebe Sweetbriar bring you this newish weekly in the heart of SOMA, trying to breathe some life back into Saturdays at The Stud. $6
This is one of our favorite gay bars in New York: the music's good, the crowd is smart and cool, the bartenders are hot and it's the kind of come-as-you-are, non-BnT booze fest Manhattan needs more of. DJ Gabe usually spins poppy stuff on Saturdays. The end.
Shirt-eschewing house-heads pack it in at this space that feels a little like Vegas or L.A., with its Saturday Night Fever-esque floor that lights up in the cocktail lounge. Rotating DJs, in a thump-thump vein. $10-$20.
In order to avoid mingling with regrettable one-night stands, the boys elbow the pushy lezbots aside and take to the dance floor and shimmy in a pool of spilled alcohol.
The promoters describe it as "the hottest Saturday night in SOMA." And you know what? We agree. Just don't forget to moisturize your nipples before heading over.
Ever asked yourself, "Where can I get drunk and laid with the most efficiency this weekend in Manhattan?" Well we have the answer, and it rhymes with, "The Sock."
You don't like sports, but you do like fags who pretend to like sports so you'll like them. So check this place out. It's lively and there's a deck.
Garden of Ono @ Hotel Gansevoort
18 9th Avenue
6PM-1AM
It's Josh Wood's now annual outpost in the Meatpacking, which have lost some luster since that first summer but you may as well stop in here before hitting Hiro.
Put your alcoholism to some good use for once: not only does $10 get you a bottomless cup in a sea of bottoms, but also The Eagle donates the proceeds to a different charity each week.
No Means Yes @ Sugarland
221 N 9th St (and Driggs Ave), Williamsburg
10PM
DJ Adam Joseph, 2-4-1 drinks and free shots at this naturally smooth space.
$1 drinks all night will get your unemployed ass good and wasted at DJ Josh Draven's weekly party, so that you can dance it off to electro-pop and sleep in through Monday morning. What do you have to wake up for?
Spaz puts on a spas-tastic show, and even though some of the themes of these drag shows are a bit of a reach (Battlestar Gallactica, anyone?), she generally doesn't disappoint.
Beer Blast @ The Eagle
554 W 28th St (and 11th)
5PM - Midnight
Drink beer til you drop to your knees for the hottest wooly mammoths in the city. $10.
Motherlode
8944 Santa Monica Blvd
8Pm
This divey, oft-forgotten bar serves up a great mix of ease and sleaze. Tired of the fishbowl but not of the...um...fish? Try this place out.
Care of The Sword's tireless editors we bring you this listing of weekly parties (by no means complete, or even-handed) in three homo-happy metropolises: San Francisco, New York, and LA. (Sorry, Cheyenne, we still may never get to you.) 
