Chris Harder Talks Orgies, Weight Issues, and the Boylesque Backlash to His Porn Career

The progression from go-go dancer to gay porn star is a pretty natural one as far as industry narratives go. But for Chris Harder, the path to porn wasn’t quite a straight line. His go-go dancing skills led to a fruitful career as one of NYC’s premier “boylesque” performers. Calling himself “GoGo Harder,” Chris performed old-school striptease numbers in venues around the world, achieving recognition amongst fans of burlesque and boylesque alike, before making the surprise decision to move into the porn world in 2013. When he signed with Cockyboys, not everyone was happy about that decision. Family members made comments about him having to wear adult diapers in his old age. He was disinvited from the New York Boylesque Festival with an ensuing controversy that reeked of slut-shaming. Somehow it was acceptable for Chris to be sexual onstage, to strip down and gyrate for audiences all over the world, but not to be sexual with guys on film.

But if this past year has had its share of struggles, it’s also had its share of successes. He’s become an integral part of the Cockyboys family, doing scenes with studs like Gabriel Clark and Diesel Washington, and helping co-produce the hit Answered Prayers series with director and mentor Jake Jaxson. When we meet early Saturday night at a Starbucks on the Lower East Side, Chris seems calm, rested, and very excited to be working so much. “It’s great to have a variety of platforms to express your sexuality. Not everything has to be comical and cheesecake-y, not everything has to be visceral and intense fucking,” he tells me. Over the next hour, we talk about the connections between burlesque and porn, the controversy surrounding his porn career, and his plans for the future.

chris-harder-vert-2Adam: Were you always a fan of porn?

Chris: Yeah. I always was attracted to this idea of being an exhibitionist, not necessarily in the look-at-me sense, but really enjoying these worlds that aren’t conventional nine-to-five realities. In college I got cast as the naked guy in all these crazy plays. I guess it just all went downhill, or uphill, from there.

The high arts are to blame for your descent in to the low arts.

Yes. But what really started my interest in erotica was that I discovered this book of Tom of Finland drawings in a B. Dalton bookstore when I was 16, and I not only had a raging hard-on, I was just really compelled by these images. And they really stuck with me ever since. Porn films weren’t something that I got to experience until college because we had one family computer and it was always under surveillance. My brother got busted once because he was Googling a really XXX-rated website. My mom knew at that point that I was gay, because she immediately went to him to find out who had done that. Once I had my own laptop in college that’s when I started looking at porn. Vintage stuff was my favorite.

Do you have an ultimate sexual fantasy that you haven’t realized that comes from that?

I really love orgies and sex parties. Which is not to say that I am — as I was trying to reassure my relatives — I’m not having sex on film everyday and sitting on traffic cones during breaks. But I really do enjoy these untraditional atmospheres.

Did your relatives think you were sitting on traffic cones when you told them you were becoming a porn star?

No. I’m just being sarcastic. But someone made a comment about adult diapers so I thought I would dispel any confusion about that.

You should have been like, “I already wear them.”

Yeah, “I’m wearing them right now.” So yeah, I would love to do an orgy scene and I think would love to produce or direct a kind of Tom of Finland, Paul Cadmus-piece. I also have a John Waters sense of humor sometimes. I want to do a white trash, trailer-park porn called Oreo. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Photo: Hugo Harley
Chris as GoGo Harder doing boylesque abroad. Photo: Hugo Harley
During the weekend, how much are you doing burlesque, how much are you go-go dancing?

I try to work Thursday through Saturday, and I may do anywhere from 3 to 6 gigs in those days. I also go-go dance at a great party called Westgay during the week. I like to be busy. I always say I’m too busy, but the truth is when I’m not busy I go crazy. I definitely try to keep occupied on the weekend, because that’s when people make their money. Tonight I have two gigs. A burlesque show and then I will hop in a cab and go to Brooklyn where I’m hosting and go-go dancing at a party at Metropolitan bar called Metrosensual. And that’s my Saturday night.

What’s tonight’s burlesque act?

I’m doing two tonight. The first is a new porn star pizza boy number. I’m structuring it in my head, and then there’s this old car wash routine that I have that I developed when I was go-go dancing a lot. People will say, why don’t you make more sexual or more serious numbers, and I definitely have become more sexual in my routines, but I still have a very kind of funny, dorky personality. To me it’s almost more fun to take the stereotypes like the Chippendales dancer or the pizza boy and flip them on their head and burlesque. Burlesque is a social commentary, so that’s what I’m doing. The moment you try to start being sexy, is the moment everyone stops thinking you are. And certainly the moment I feel the least sexy.

I feel like the body of a burlesque or boylesque performer is far less rigid in terms of definition, it doesn’t matter if your body is big or small or perfectly toned. And the porn body is totally different. It’ s very precisely constructed.

I definitely agree with that to a certain extent. I think, and I’m not a burlesque or boylesque historian, but if we just look at images from the past, the thirties, forties, fifties, some of the women were probably more ample, but at the same time, especially in it’s golden age, the women still had to have a sex appeal. I think with the emergence of the neo-scene that’s where you see more of a variety of bodies and genderfucking. With boylesque it definitely is more open. I think the one thing that was impressed upon me with the burlesque community is that there’s always a place at the table for everyone. As someone who’s body is his product, I keep it to certain specifications. Because I just know I want to work as much as possible. But all that said, when I teach classes the goal is not to create an army of dancing, hairless, naked Ken dolls, it’s to promote the expression of naked sexuality, and also the art of storytelling with striptease.

Do people look at you differently now that your body is sort of shifting in a way from the boylesque body towards the porn body? You’re noticeably more worked out than when I’ve seen you in the past.

Definitely. It sucks in a way because I wish things were all inclusive for everyone. But clearly when you go to a club there is a set type for go-go dancers and strippers bodies, and for porn as well. I think physical fitness has always been important to me, but once I entered the adult world, I definitely focused on upping my game in a way. If people want to twist that into “He felt pressured. The porn industry is making him go to the gym…” It’s not true. I like to go to the gym. I’ve always had a somewhat health-conscious perspective, but having sex for a living definitely puts it in the forefront.

Before, and after. An image from Chris's first shoot with CockyBoys in 2013, and a more recent shot.
Before, and after. An image from Chris’s first shoot with CockyBoys in 2013, and a more recent shot.

When you first made the decision to start doing porn, about a year ago, was there a period where you were evaluated by Jake Jaxson or other people who said “Okay this is what you need to do to make yourself look fit for porn”?

No. Every adult performer’s experience is different as far as that goes, but when I first came to Cockyboys, I still had an athletic body but I was much, much slimmer. Really what it did for me, is right after I signed with Cockyboys, I went on a big burlesque tour in Europe, and it was great. But I came back really underweight and burnt out. And I’m perpetuating all kinds of awful gender stereotypes which I don’t really ascribe to, but for myself I wanted to have a bigger, more “masculine” body. It’s something that I’ve always wanted, and I didn’t have the time or the resources or the knowledge to make that happen for myself. So I came back from Europe. I started working with a friend and personal trainer again. It’s really been building blocks.

What is your gym routine?

If you want to get bigger, eat more, if you want to get smaller you need to eat less. Eating was a huge part. I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a child. I used to be very obese. There are weight issues in my family. I was underweight in high school. It’s been back and forth. I still deal with that on a daily basis, trying to not be so paranoid but also have structure in my diet. But also having a more regular weight training schedule, but I’m also lucky too. I have a personal trainer too that I feel very privileged to have.

Does Cockyboys pay for that?

They help support it. Thanks Cockyboys! I definitely contribute my portion as well, but it’s great to have someone pushing you and encouraging you. Literally kicking your ass at the end of the day. I’m not gonna lie, unlike the burlesque atmosphere, which is not as competitive, there’s definitely a sense of competition in porn. You’re in rooms, at award ceremonies full of gorgeous muscularly developed men. For me it makes me want to be better.

cockyboys-chris-harder

Having been obese as a kid, I imagine you’ve experienced a lot of shame and judgement from other people. Has there been a place in the porn world where you felt judged for your body?

No. But I think by putting oneself out via porn or striptease or singing or acting there’s always going to be judgment. I can’t say I personally felt really attacked on matters of that. I’m sure there probably will be at some point. It’s funny because we always throw around words like otter, bear, twink, twunk. I think I’ve been called everything except a bear. It’s these silly stupid classifications. In my head I have an image of what I want my body to be like and I just keep working towards that.

You were overweight for how many years?

I guess ’til I was about 12 or 13. Early adolescence.

Was that an inherited trait?

No. I struggled with my weight. I just loved to eat. Which is the great thing about working out a lot now. I have a reason to eat. But before it was like, I liked to eat, read, and make sets for my Barbie dolls and G.I. Joes. I was a very sedentary child. I come from a family of sports men. But that didn’t click with me as a child. It’s something I still deal with on a regular basis.

When you started to lose the weight was it a puberty thing?

Yes. But it was also for a while that I had what I would call a slight eating disorder where I did not eat for a little under a year and I dropped a lot of weight. I had a weird self image which is not uncommon for twelve- and thirteen-year-olds. But luckily and I do say this with confidence, I have a much more confident self-image now, which allows me to relax a bit and trust myself more now. Eating issues were also a matter of trust and not trusting that I wouldn’t eat the whole cake or that I could eat a hamburger every now and then and not gain 20 pounds. It’s just growing more comfortable with yourself.

chris-harder-boylesqueDid you know you were gay from an early age?

I was very much a late bloomer. I came out when I was around fifteen, which is definitely young, but up until my first year of high school I really wasn’t that concerned about sex. I had girlfriends and then they would ask me like “Don’t you think we should kiss now?” And that stuff never occurred to me. And then when I was 15 I met a boy and then I met Tom of Finland, and it all blossomed.

I wanted to ask you about last year when you were told you couldn’t participate in the past year’s NY Boylesque festival by your ex-boyfriend Daniel Nardicio. That was a moment where I really felt you got slut-shamed for being a porn performer. What was that all about?

It was a layered issue. Obviously many people are aware, especially after those articles came out that Daniel and I were involved in a relationship and separated about two years ago. Do I think it was completely related to porn? No. I think it was a mix of personal issues. But it’s hard to say it’s just a personal issue given that porn is a part of it. Especially since I was in the festival last year after Daniel and I had broken up before I had started porn. I guess that’s what I think about it.

The implication seemed to be that there was an anger or jealousy on his part that you were doing porn.

Yeah. I certainly don’t want to speak for Daniel, that’s the last thing I need on my plate. But to me there was a sense of that. A sense of pettiness. I was very happy, when I went to the festival the second night. It was a great show. I thought it was a well produced show. The only thing that made me angry was that I couldn’t be up there with my friends and students and people that I’ve worked with for my past five years in nightlife, because I not only had broken up with one of the producers but also because I had made a choice to live my life the way that I wanted to. So yeah I did feel there was a punishment aspect. Not completely related to porn, but a mixture of personal issues as well.

In one of his posts he talked about how if you do porn you can’t not be thought of as a whore.

Yeah. That was an article he did with Hook Online around the same time as the second Boylesque Festival.

Do you feel that people think of you that way?

Ultimately I don’t care. I sincerely mean that. I feel like I am living a life that I want to be. Which requires me to take responsibility for those choices but I guess the one thing I want to say in regards to that interview Daniel did is that I think there’s a huge difference between claiming to support sex workers and just making money off of them. And I think that’s something that any producer or performer needs to be aware about as we continue to do our thing.

A lot of porn performers use their porn just as an advertisement for their escorting. Is that something you’re planning on doing? Become a Rentboy?

I’m different in some respects because I also have my nightclub gigs that help my income and I help produce shows. I’m not necessarily interested in becoming a Rentboy but I do events with them, and I do support them. It’s ridiculous that we live in New York City and sex work is illegal. But I’m not interested in becoming a Rentboy. No judgment, but that’s not how I see my brand working out.

Would you want to direct porn?

Yeah. I don’t think I’d want to have my own company, but I would like to direct for sure.

Final question, what was the best sex you had recently?

I had a great threesome with a couple who came over to my place. No strings attached. Both really comfortable with each other. Hung like Clydesdale stallions. It was great. My roommates were gone, I had the apartment to myself. I had whiskey. A really hot biracial couple. Perfect Sunday night. I hope my parents don’t read this.

 

 

Previously: DIESEL WASHINGTON ABUSES ALL OF CHRIS HARDER’S HOLES IN ‘ANSWERED PRAYERS’ PART TWO, ‘THE HEALER’

COCKYBOYS GETS ART-Y AGAIN THIS WEEK WITH ‘GO, GOGO, GO’
 
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Adam Baran is a filmmaker, blogger, former online editor of Butt Magazine and co-curator of Queer/Art/Film. His short film JACKPOT, about a porn-hunting gay teen, won Best Short Film at the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and was recently featured on The Huffington Post, Queerty, and Towleroad, among others. He is a features programmer at Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival and NewFest in New York. In his spare time, he complains about things to his friends. “Fisting for Compliments”, his weekly musings about the intersection of sex, art, porn, and history, will appear every Monday on TheSword. You can contact him at Adam@TheSword.com and follow him on Twitter at @ABaran999. Check out his previous columns in the Fisting For Compliments Archive.

 

8 thoughts on “Chris Harder Talks Orgies, Weight Issues, and the Boylesque Backlash to His Porn Career”

  1. “He was disinvited from the New York Boylesque Festival with an ensuing controversy that reeked of slut-shaming.”

    I think it was more about preserving the (for many people not so clear) distinction between bourlesque and hardcore performance.

    1. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that porn pretty much downgrades his stock. I’m not saying this as an insult to the industry or anything but for some people, once they’ve seen a man fuck (on a video you can download, keep and repeat whenever) it takes out a lot of the mystery which makes that man sexy to begin with. After all, being naked and being naked and post orgasmic are still two different levels of vulnerability.

    1. I find it funny when the self-important, nobodies feel the need to brandish their ignorance. Are we supposed to care if you haven’t heard of him before? Not everyone lives under a rock.

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