Gay Porn Op-Ed: I’m A Shoe. Please Don’t Fuck Me.

Hey guys, I’m a shoe. This hipster with a mustache just fucked me.

As a shoe, there are a lot of gross things I have to tolerate: Stepping in dog poop, stepping in trash, stepping in mud, stepping on cigarette butts, stepping in gum (don’t even get me started on stepping in gum), stepping in puddles of water, and even getting stepped on by other shoes that have been stepping in God’s know what. But at some point I have to draw the line, and this is that point. I’m a shoe. Please don’t fuck me.

I let you put your stinky feet inside of me day after day, and do you ever hear me complain? No. Sometimes your socks are dirty, amplifying the stench to near toxic levels, and I still don’t say anything. Sometimes you don’t even wear socks. And all the while, I’ve remained silent. But now it’s come to this. You’ve finally gone too far.

For Christ’s sake. I am a goddamn shoe. Don’t fuck me.

You practically strangle me to death every morning when you wrap those ropes around me and tie them into all of those knots, cutting off my circulation for hours, if not an entire day. Isn’t that enough of a fetish for you, you sick son of a bitch? I would rather be submerged into a gutter of raw sewage than be turned into your perverse plaything.

I’m not just some sex object you can have your way with whenever you want, only to be tossed back into a pile or under the bed with all of your other victims; some of whom have been tragically separated from their next of kin. And I’m not just some meaningless mixture of rubber and leather for you to fuck as part of some deviant sex fantasy. I am a shoe. I have a sole.

Have you no decency?
Have you no sense of shame?
How could you do this to me?
I’m just a shoe.
Please don’t fuck me.
Why me?
Oh God, why me?
Why me and not the other one?

[DirtyBoyVideo]

 

3 thoughts on “Gay Porn Op-Ed: I’m A Shoe. Please Don’t Fuck Me.”

  1. Yea, the shoe thing is a little weird to me but its surprising how many men want to spend time down there. 2012 has really been the year of the foot. Oh yea… I really like his mustache and I’m digging his whole hipster look.

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