The Associated Press reports that the new formula for meth is rapidly increasing across the hick states, and that meth arrests are increasing for the first time in years as a result. But the new meth formula is just as dangerous as the old one. Mix the ingredients — palatte-pleasers like anti-freeze, starter fluid and hydrochloric acid — and shake. Just keep in mind that mistakes like trapping oxygen inside or unscrewing the cap too will lead to fireballs and third-degree burns.

Despite the dangers, addicts are attracted to the “shake-and-bake” method, and not just because it’s fun to say. It means that now meth can be cooked quickly, on the go, without the elaborate set-up of old-school meth labs. And that’s good, because meth-heads have better things to do with their time, like waiting for a hard-on that will never come while re-installing Windows on a tweaky trick’s laptop.

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