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Written by mike
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Wednesday, 30 January 2008 03:09 |
Sirius Radio hosts Derek Hartley and Romaine Lettuce shot back at us today for us calling them houseplants. We issue the following retraction: it was rude to refer to their looks when we had so much material about them being boring. No offense! (BTW, Derek, Puffins are small, cute sea birds... did you just call your co-host fat? For shame! We just meant she looked like a muscular penguin.)
Jason Sechrest, our favorite Judy Garland-impersonator and passer-along-of- bad-news, kindly pointed out to the two radio hosts via IM
that they weren't going to get a warm response in San Francisco, at
least as far as The Sword was concerned. Not entirely true!
Sure, we were a bit crestfallen that we wouldn't have the old red-headed cougar leaving her snail trail across Erik Rhodes' chest, but we didn't think we deserved the response we got on Derek's blog:
"I know you are upset about not getting to host the porn awards (that
must be the end of the world), but is it necessary to discount the work
someone did on a global scale to combat homophobia? You know, to make
the streets safe for a low life piece of shit like you. Oh and she had
a fucking baby! What have you done with your life? Frosted your tips? ...
Sorry she has been too busy to have an eating disorder or a meth habit,
she is raising a baby and hosting a national radio show."
Quel beast! We have not frosted our collective tips, though we appreciate the homophobic
sentiment. Honestly, The Sword is just sort of bored with babies, no
offense. And gay marriage. And we have no desire to host the awards
show (that was Jason Sechrest). We're not public figures, though we
never thought of ourselves as anonymous, either-in fact, the whole
matter of not signing off on articles has been considered an exercise
in sacrificing our egos for a unified voice. Of course, if you want to
attack me, the author of that particular entry, here is your ammunition. But if you really want to know more about us-our About Us section gives you our raison.
We knew when we launched that we'd be upsetting some of the gay sacred
cows. We just didn't realize how sensitive the cud-chewers would be!
Siriously, we're GLAAD you have a radio show, but we're sorry to say it's just not
our cup of tea. (JK! NO PNP! NO BB! STAPH FREE!)
UPDATE: Romaine threatened to punch me in the face on live radio! HATE CRIME!
RELATED:
Lady Bunny, Houseplants To Host GayVNs
My Life on the F List (DerekHartley.com)
GayVN Hosts Criticized; Derek Hartley Hits Back (GayPornTimes.com)
Ouch ... The Sword Hurts! (JasonCurious.com)
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Comments
In my head, the "DNR" fans are a faceless, gross, lonely group of people who can only find friends via their imagination and their satellite radio as they drive their trucks cross country dropping off the lesbian produced cheese from Vermont.
If you want to show some credibility sell out the show with your fan base. That would certainly be a big FUCK YOU to the naysayers and give the producers the proof that they should have hired you.
Its a slippery slope - an awards show that is suspect in its nomination process and an equally dubious choice for hosts. Its as if they dont want people to show up.
Lady Bunny is a gem and could do the show with a cocktail in one hand, a cock in the other and twirling a flaming baton with her tongue while on a unicycle. While the top homo-friendly DJs on Satellite Radio - yeah - try to bask in her glow. Im the number one DJ in my living room - maybe i should host next year?
Good luck, "DNR" at least you know the day after your debacle, you can run back to the anonymity of satellite radio and into the warm embrace of your press clippings and the six people who listen to your show.