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Written by paul
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Wednesday, 17 September 2008 11:11 |
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Twins are hot, right? We thought so, too, until we realized that all too often they do this staring thing that creeps us out. How do straight men continue to jerk off to the Doublemint twins? Below, our guide to gay twins who creep us out most.
Miller Twins
(Incest-o-meter Reading: 2)
The Montana-born Miller twins, whose hair irons are as flat as their singing voices, make up the bad ballad band Nemesis Rising. Are their bodies really amazing enough to justify soft-focus photo shoot after soft-focus photo shoot? And why do their facial expressions have to be so annoying all the time? These boys first appeared on Logo, which represents one of many in a string of utterly stupid programming decisions made by the gay cable network. (The latest example being their just-announced partnership with portly minstrel Perez Hilton.)
Resnick Twins
(Incest-o-meter Reading: 5)
Two decades ago, Jay Leno slipped Ellen Degeneres a rufie and fucked her until dawn: the Resnick twins are proof. Sure they're blonde and muscley, but their dicks are weird (link NSFW, natch) and those faces should be illegal. Their porn history to date consists of one side-by-side jerk off session in Pacific Sun's Double Size: Double the Pleasure. More like, "Ew. Ew."
Bartok Twins
(Incest-o-meter Reading: 9)
The Czech Republic regrets the failed Communist regime that largely stifled the nation over the forty years following World War II. It also regrets the Bartok twins. In Double Czech, these slack-jawed freaks fuck each other with those identical dead eyes. Sadly, they manage to remain boring even when teamed up with porn god Pavel Novotny; no easy feat.
Christy Twins
(Incest-o-meter Reading: 10)
Double the pasty cancer fetus, double the fun! Holding nothing back with their five videos in the 70s, the jaw- and eyebrow-challenged Christy Twins sure know what it means to do the nasty. Some gene pools should really just resist double-dipping. (If you dare, watch them in Bijou's Twins.)
5mtl.com Twins
(Incest-o-meter Reading: 1)
We can't be sure they're gay, but they do love sausage. Sausage sandwiches, in fact. And hamburgers.
RELATED:
When Gay Porn's Goffney Twins Got Caught Stealing
The Ten Hottest (Straight) Male Pornstars
Cosmo, Girl? The New Gay Minstrelsy
Twins, Triplets, Brothers, Cousins, Etc (TTBC blogspot)
Watch Bijou's Twins on Nakedsword.
Watch the Jan Dvorak Story on NakedSword.
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