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Written by jay
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Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:40 |
The UK Telegraph, that venerable tabloid of the English-accented web, is reporting on the trial of two men nabbed by Scotland Yard for blackmailing an unidentified married British royal who allegedly was seen snorting cocaine and performing oral sex on another man. The trial is ongoing and the tabloid press has been loving the details, like when a senior royal aide (known as Witness D and alleged to be the receiver of said sex
act during a private party) was described as a "mincing braggart" and compared to actor John Inman on the sitcom Are You Being Served?
Because this is all speculation, and because we're not even sure whether to trust the "married" detail, we're going to place some odds and indulge our own wishful thinking about Prince Harry.
Vice Admiral Timothy Laurence, husband of Princess Anne
Odds: 30 to 1
While he isn't technically a royal himself, he is by association, and we include him if only because Prince Andrew remains unmarried and the Dukes of Kent and Gloucester are way too old to be doing coke and getting blowjobs at parties as recently as a year or two ago.
Prince Harry
Odds: 10 to 1
We doubt it's him, and the first reports about the case suggested that this was a "married royal." However, we put Harry in the mix not just because he's the resident party boy and the most likely to be blowing rails at a party, but also because he's the one we're most inclined to want to picture getting blown.
Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex
Odds: Even
Despite his 1999 marriage to Sophie Rhys-Jones, the gay rumors have swirled around Princess Edward since the days when his love of musical theatre led him to join Andrew Lloyd Weber's Really Useful Theatre Company and work on productions of Cats and Phantom of the Opera. These days, as the Royal Family's website puts it, "He also works on behalf of a number of charities and organisations, particularly those connected with the arts..." We're pretty positive it's him, and it's kind of an open secret around Britain that this one's a big poof.
UPDATE: Oh, we guess someone figured this out already. Whatev. That guy's barely a royal. (Thanks, Suzzi)
RELATED:
Prince Harry 'Outed' in Afghanistan, Photographed Shirtless Multiple Times
Royal aide 'in gay sex blackmail is mincing braggart' (telegraph.uk)
Stripper Started Royal's Gay Romp (Daily Star)
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