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Written by mike
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Tuesday, 29 January 2008 02:57 |
Faces-for-radio Derek Hartley and Romaine Patterson will host the newly revamped GayVN Awards in mid-February, GayPornTimes reported today. Drag legend and Lucas Entertainment star Lady Bunny will also be on hand to fight for the microphone. Derek and Romaine will bring their celebrated sixth-grade- late-night-phone-chat brand of entertainment to help enliven our industry's annual rite of auto-fellatio, but honestly we're more looking forward to the following inevitabilities:
1. Jason Sechrest Storms the Stage, Performs "The Trolley Song"
The director-cum-blogger-cum-publicity agent has already expressed his dissatisfaction with Derek and Romaine being chosen over him and Angel Benton, but we're aching to see him make those threats a reality and do his patented porn-title-song-medley- in-the-style-of-Tori-Amos. Controversial!
2. Rod Barry Confuses Romaine with a Ficus
Lettuce face it,
she's sort of a bore. The steroidal puffin gained media attention
following Matthew Shephard's death, but honestly, we respect women
most when they don't devote their lives doggedly to gay men. All the
earnest banter in the world won't stop someone from from propping his
umbrella up against her. We're betting it's our favorite
midget-fucking, Jager-drinking lover Rod Barry.
3. Chi Chi Confuses Derek with Romaine
We
were never really sure which one was which listening to them, but the
duo's huggy publicity picture has irked us from the get go. Pardon us
for not being TOO impressed by Deromaine's whirlwind life of GLAAD
parties and Reichen-fawning. If you neutered and lobotomized Paul
Lynde, then married him off to Regis Philbin you'd have Derek Hartley.
Of course, Romaine would be there to accuse you of the hate crime.
We're betting on Chi Chi LaRue getting them mixed up, then neither she
nor the audience noticing. Or caring.
4. Erik Rhodes Tells Someone to Fuck Off
The
NYC charmer was has a lot of people to be annoyed with-deservedly or
not. The whole porn world seems to be gawking at his break up, his
sobriety and his blog like he's our personal Britney. From Jason
Curious to Jason Ridge to, um, us, it seems everyone's a pundit when it
comes to Erik Rhodes. We're waiting for him to drunkenly scream at someone-we just hope it's not us.
5. Kathy Griffin Steals the Audience
Reportedly,
last year's host was miffed that she wasn't invited back this year. But
she's still coming to San Francisco that night-to host a live show
at the Castro Theater (the GayVN's former venue). Will she treat GayVN
publisher Chad Beecher to the same vitriol she normally reserves for
Barbara Walters? Not likely, but we'll never know since we'll be
flirting with Damien Crosse. Of course, with tickets for the GayVNs starting at $100, we might be the only ones.
UPDATE:
Radio Homo Derek Hartley Doesn't Like Us
RELATED:
Jason Curious' Little Earthquake
Kathy Griffin and the GayVNs: The Way We Were
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Comments
Bitter, Table of One by the busboy station, your table is ready!
Your summary of the Derek & Romaine duo has no grounds and is, without a doubt, stupid.
If writing about people better looking and more funny than you gets you off, then I should respect that. But Romaine dedicated her life to educating idiots like you about hate crimes!
You're a waste of fresh air.
~Dedicated DNR listener.
Have you ever listen to a broadcast of DNR? Honestly.
Oh, and somehow "this website" is bitter that it wasn't asked to be the host of the awards.
Derek and Romaine will make fine hosts of this historic event (cough). They have natural talent and chemistry on their side and their self-deprecatin g humor is funny enough without some anonymous bowel movement, like yourself, hate blogging about them.
The Matthew comment was a low blow - but karma will smack you back when you least expect it. Make sure to blog about that when it happens. Oooops...Karma looks like it already did happen...you blog on a porn review site and Derek and Romaine have a hugely successful SIRIUS radio program with thousands of faithful listeners.
Nothing personal to Derek/Romaine and Lady Bunny, but they are not Kathy Griffin!
Bitter party of 10 for getting screwed out of 00!
D&R have personality to burn and they're going to be totally fucking terrific.
GOD IT'S GOING TO BE TERRIBLE!