The full interview — a fun read, but youl’l feel dirty and sad afterwards — is here. Below are my favorite parts:

Bruce LaBruce: You are against the idea of gay marriage. I totally agree with you on that.

Karl Lagerfeld: Yes, I’m against it for a very simple reason: In the 60s they all said we had the right to the difference. And now, suddenly, they want a bourgeois life. It’s normalizing.

On Andy Warhol:

BL: It was kind of shocking to me that they said he was really good in bed in the early 60s.

KL:  No one should remember that.

BL: What was your relationship with Warhol like? Were you friends?

KL:  I don’t think anybody was really friendly with Andy. He was very sweet, very nice. But I was not living that kind of life; I was not taking drugs and all that.

BL: He didn’t really, either.

KL:  No, but he pushed others to. I was, in a way, a little too sophisticated for that, and I was more of an outsider inside… I shouldn’t say this, but physically he was quite repulsive.

BL: Who was?

KL:  Andy.

BL: That New Yorker article kind of suggested that he was maybe a little more sexually attractive when he was younger.

KL:  He was not handsome.

On why you only watch porn because you’re poor:

KL: …I personally only like high-class escorts. I don’t like sleeping with people I really love. I don’t want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn. I also think it’s much more difficult to perform in porn than to fake some emotion on the face as an actor.

And finally, his thoughts on this one ugly woman:

BL: I hate it when photographers are like, “Can we have one with your glasses off?” Why? You can see me just fine.

KL: I had an interview once with some German journalist—some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists—maybe a week after—and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, “It’s impolite; remove your glasses.” I said, “Do I ask you to remove your bra?”

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Karl Lagerfeld (Viceland)