We’ve all done it. Hell, in the days before unlimited, immediate access to porn on any laptop or mobile device I probably wasted days of my life pausing, rewinding, and re-pausing a VCR for the quickest, sorriest glimpse of a celebrity’s dick, convinced that someday Hollywood would come through for me and stop being so prissy about full frontal.
Well, Hollywood is still prissy about full frontal, and most of your big male celebs have historically been reluctant to show off their nuts and berries. There have been dozens of ever-so-brief exceptions over the years, all of which are catalogued with amazing comprehensiveness at a certain site called Mr. Man, in stills and clips, even though most of us pervs can recite them from memory.
Remember the time Bruce Willis showed his cock in The Color of Night?
How about when Kevin Bacon famously showed some side peen in Wild Things?
Or when Patrick Wilson showed his cock and balls (from behind) for a brief second in Angels in America?
Or when Ryan Reynolds, perhaps not knowing that he would one day be a big leading man, showed us some brief, blurred flashes of his junk in 2001’s Buying the Cow?
Or when Brad Pitt showed off his glorious alabaster ass in Legends of the Fall?
But we have to say that ads like this are a little irritating, because the WHOLE WORLD KNOWS that Ryan Gosling has not shown off his cock for public consumption, just a glimpse of his perfect ass once in Blue Valentine, and only Steve Carrell and Steve Carrell alone got an eyeful of his junk in Crazy, Stupid, Love..
If he had indeed shown off his cock, I would have seen it already, because I would pay money to see it. And so would you.
Plus, WE ALL KNOW that the closest we’ve even come to the salvation that would be a Gosling cock shot was in a deleted scene from A Place Beyond the Pines, and that was merely some ample bulge action.
Anyway, you can pay money to see more at Mr. Man, and to at least experience the wonderment of their vast library, which stretches back to Warren Beatty‘s brief butt-crack glimpse in Shampoo (1975) and Richard Gere standing naked by the window in American Gigolo (1980). Plus they actually have a search function where you can sort by those celebs who have shown their penises, though I’ve found a few mislabels in there hello??? where is the Andrew Garfield cock I was promised!?
We leave you with this awesome, legendary little moment from American Psycho in which a ripped Christian Bale is basically fucking himself. Apologies in advance about the tits in the way.