R.I.P. Sword Intern Chelsea Dead At 22

Hey guys, Garrett Michaels here with some sad news to report. The Sword’s intern and the mother of my child, Chelsea, has died.

A lot of you queers have been asking about Chelsea since her due date was a couple of weeks ago, and well, now you know. She died while giving birth to my son.

I wasn’t there when it happened, but apparently Chelsea’s placenta ripped apart from her uterine wall during delivery and she bled to death. Luckily, the baby came out just fine. I’ll be raising him with my wife Brittney Bunny.

Those of you who knew Chelsea knew how much she loved interning on this blog, and that’s why they asked me to let you guys know what happened to her. They also wanted to take this opportunity to put out a call for a new intern. So, if you’re over 18, comfortable with adult material, know your way around the internet extremely well, and need some college credits for the upcoming spring semester, email Zach using the “tips” button above and he’ll give you more details about becoming an intern on The Sword.

Those of you who knew Chelsea also knew how much she loved me, even though I really regret ever meeting her in Cancun. While I haven’t been able to admit it until now, the birth of my son has forced me to acknowledge that yes, Chelsea and I did in fact have a one night stand. So with that said, I’d like to pay tribute to Chelsea—a fucked up but basically nice broad—with this hot vid of me jerking off. Rest in peace, Chels. This cum shot’s for you.

[NextDoorStudios: Garrett Michaels]

 

16 thoughts on “R.I.P. Sword Intern Chelsea Dead At 22”

  1. My jaw dropped upon reading this headline and finding out that Chelsea had sadly passed. While I could go on and on forever about her I’ve decided to keep it short- Her beautiful memory will live on through her newborn baby and it was truly heartbreaking but touching to see the kind words Mr. Garrett Michaels had to say about her. You could tell from the tone of his very few words that he truly cared for Chelsea and is lost without her.

    Thinking of you, Chels. You always had a smile on your face… and also a backpack.

  2. In honor of my recent trip to the bathroom a few minutes ago, I hereby dedicate the object I squeezed out of my bowels to you dear Chelsea….

    For someone who actually gave a shit……. literally……

  3. I never believed the baby story. It’s more likely the nasty whore took so many loads in her ass and down her throat that she had to get her stomach pumped, and things went horribly wrong.

    Baby, or cum-filled-guts, it’s sad. R.I.P Chelsea.

  4. Too many fake internet girls have fake died this week to makes jokes…. How many more before it becomes a fake epidemic? I’ll be staging a fake protest at SF City Hall.

    1. You made me laugh far too much with your comment. Please take a ‘serious’ pill and never make anyone laugh again. I’m old, I might have a heart condition (I don’t know, but if you make me laugh like that again, it might be fatal).
      Please remember: it’s not jokes that kill people – it’s comedy writers.

  5. My sincere condolances Garett!!! Are you sure you’re not the one who ripped her vajjiggle jaggle aprt with your fat cock?
    Hopefully Zach will be the godfather of this young child.
    Chelsea’s star will shine on and on. Maybe we should set up a Kickstarter project to fund this child’s education? Cuz you know he’s gonna need it if he doesn’t want to end up like his failure of a father .

  6. NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! WWWWHHHYYYY Lord Why?

    Heaven has a new angel. ***sob***

    Hey wait a second…could Chelsea be a catfish? Is she faking her death like Manti’s “girlfriend”? If “she” was really a catfish then which gay pornstar was behind the hoax?

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