The Ten Funniest Cybersocket Award Nominations

The full, exhaustive, charmingly absurd (FIFTY FOUR models are nominated for Best Porn Star), spelling-challenged list is here, if you can handle it. I can’t.

But, here are the “funny” nominations that, I have to believe, were done just for laffs! (Or, to piss people off.)

10. Best New Site: (it hasn’t even launched yet!)

9. Best Porn Blog:

8. Best Novelties Site:

7. Best Porn Star: Brent Corrigan (he hasn’t had gay sex on camera in well over a year)

6. Best Porn Star: Cody Cummings (he hasn’t had gay sex on camera ever)

5. Best Sex Scene: “Drill Instructor Strokes his 11″ Inch Cuban Dick at The Shaving Sinks” (from Angry Young Man studios)

4. Best Sex Scene: “The Rectodus Society, featuring Marko Lebeau, Vance Crawford, Cody Cummings, Brec Boyd, Parker London, James Jamesson, Adam Withmore, Tyler Torro”

3. Best Newcomer: Topher DiMaggio (who has been making porn since before the art of eyebrow sculpting was perfected—his first Randy Blue scene debuted in 2007!)

2. Best Fetish Site: (having sex in a gross van is a fetish)

1. The difference between the categories Best Mobile Site, Best Original Content Site, Best Video Site (there is no difference)

I see some people acting surprised that Cybersocket nominated “Leave Britney Alone” YouTubelebrity Chris Crocker in the Best Newcomer category, despite the fact that he hasn’t shot one second of gay porn? Please, stop acting surprised. You could be a one-legged circus tranny with no genitals and a hairlip and still get nominated for one of these awards so long as you were at least peripherally affiliated with someone in the industry and—most importantly—you had 150,000 Twitter followers reading your advertisements for Cybersocket for the next three months.

[Cybersocket Awards]

16 thoughts on “The Ten Funniest Cybersocket Award Nominations”

  1. LOL here we go again! every year someone bitches to us about being nominated or not nominated.. or says it is paid for and blah blah! But you know what all the bitching queens come every single year and drink all the booze! So we will keep doing it and you all will keep bitching! HAPPY HALLOWEENIE! Love holly!

  2. um 130 movies 7 years and nothing no wonder im getting ready to right a book and have gave a tell all interview this industry is really fucked up……

    1. No, fucked up is marrying a woman just because she’ll get more money with a dependent (even though you’re gay).

      I hope when you write your book you have the good sense to let an editor read it first.

  3. Totally voting for Brent C because a. I am a drinker of the BC kool-aid and b. I want to see just how convoluted the voting system could be, should he win without actively campaigning for anything. Yay!

  4. These “awards” are total bull shit, but then again so is a lot of the gay porn biz.. so I guess it all kinda ties in perfectly.

  5. They are clearly trying to reach even further in a vain attempt to gather more revenue since the magazine industry (or leaflet as it is now) is dying.

  6. Oh Gawd, I love me some Cybersockets and fully intend to vote for the stupidest possible nominees. Zach has failed to notice that not only did Brent Corrigan get the nom for “Best Porn Star” but also got acknowledged again for “Best Amateur Webcam.” I think we can all agree that the best amateur webcams are ones that have actually been turned on in the past year. Nonetheless I shall vote for Brent in both wildly stupid categories because I’m one of those annoying morons who are turned into love struck jelly by the twinkilicious one. It is good and right that all you normal people should despise me for this character flaw but I recommend that you still vote for Brent because it would be pretty effin’ funny if Brent actually won something and had to go up on stage and embarrass himself by accepting an award.

    Now as for Bait Bus not deserving “Best Fetish Site” I must once again point out that Zach seems to have missed the whole “bare-breasted bimbo lures colossally stupid straight (yeah, right) dude into said gross van and blindfolds him before she lets her boy friends suck him off” element. Now Bait Bus walks the fine line between “You’ve got to be shittin’ me” and, you know, rape, but I’m fairly sure rape does qualify as a fetish. So I’m not sure that Bait Buss deserves my vote what with such fine choices as “College Boys Physicals” and “Boys Smoking” competing for my precious throwaway e-mail addresses. “Gay Sex Furniture” though is more priceless than Riley and I salute the Cybersockets for enlightening me.

    My only real regret is that no one nominated and their brilliant gallery “Hot Gay Teen Lawnchair Sluts.” Oh well, there’s always next year to actually give a shit and spam the nominations.

      1. Not to quibble Zach, but Brent (as much as I love him and I DO) actually hasn’t been on a hardcore porn set in nearly TWO years. GETTING LEVI’S JOHNSON was shot at the end of 2009!

  7. Apparently these awards are to proactively award you for work you’re going to do, not work you have done in the past year as evidenced by this conversation on Twitter:

    @jeremybilding: Here we go! @Cybersocket voting has started. I think I’m the only performer not nominated
    @MorganSommer: We were under the impression you had retired from gay porn ;-)

    I’m expecting GREAT things in the upcoming year from Baby Star!!! ;-)

  8. So clearly the Buddy Profits awards. No way in hell did any “fans” vote for “The Recotodus Society”. Now we also know why Cody hired his new PA- she’s gonna spend 10 hour a day voting for him- I’m kidding. She’s already deleted her Twitter.

    To bad the people that should really get the awards won’t because they don’t work for NDS/Buddy Profits.

    1. It’s like the XFiles, but with nude boys instead of aliens and that liver-eating guy who crash-landed onto LOST.

  9. I was so thrilled after getting THREE Cybersocket Awards. Then I saw that was nominated in one of my categories and they haven’t even launched. Then my friend (the owner of reminded me that The Cybersocket Awards are the Golden Globes of porn. I’ll just act like Colin Firth and pretend. And pray it brings me hundreds of new members for Fantastic Foreskin!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 50 MB. You can upload: image. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Scroll to Top