The Top 10 Craziest Snubs From This Year’s Grabbys Nominations

10. Colby Keller and Conner Habib: COMPLETELY SNUBBED! Not a single nomination for either of the most intellectual men in gay porn. Maybe if the Grabbys hadn’t gotten rid of the Best Sex Comedy category, their advice vlogs could have been nominated?

9. Rocco Reed: TOTALLY SNUBBED! Not a single nomination for the hardest working bottom with the softest cock in gay porn. I demand a recount! And a shot of epinephrine to my heart after watching any one of Rocco Reed’s scenes.

8. Garrett Michaels: A SHUT OUT and COMPLETE SNUB! The Sword’s Sexiest Man of 2012 and the father of the Sword’s former dead intern’s baby was completely SNUBBED for his work. Maybe it’s the hair? (Or the face?)

7. Anthony Romero: SNUB OF THE YEAR! Though Anthony is nominated for Web Performer of the Year, he wasn’t singled out for his work with Next Door Studios. He faked having gay sex with Cody Cummings, and this is the thanks he gets?

6. Joey Hard: RIDICULOUSLY SNUBBED! He faked having gay sex with Cody Cummings, and this is the thanks he gets?

5. Cody Cummings: EPIC SNUBBAGE!!! Not a single nomination for the king of gay porn, who has had more fake gay sex than I’ve had real gay sex in the past 10 years!!


4. Samuel O’Toole, Brody Wilder, Johnny Torque, Rod Daily, Samuel O’Toole, Marcus Mojo:
SHAMEFULLY SNUBBED!! Zero Grabbys nominations for the stars of the best group scene of the year!

 


3. Topher DiMaggio’s Eyebrow:
SNUB OF THE CENTURY!!!!

 


2. Johnny Rapid:
SNUBBED BEYOND BELIEF!!! Who does Johnny Rapid have to get raped by around here to get a Grabby nomination? I demand a recount! And a rape kit.

 


1. Photoshop:
SNUBBED!!!

 

18 thoughts on “The Top 10 Craziest Snubs From This Year’s Grabbys Nominations”

  1. I missed this original post. I didn’t even realize I was snubbed! But seriously, #1-Photoshop snubbing is absolutely hilarious.

    I’m probably snubbed for life from the Grabby’s because last year I was nominated to be a host and I politely emailed to say that it wasn’t something I thought I could do, but how else could I be involved because I appreciated the honor. I got two terse, grammatically questionable emails back saying they would just “make sure I didn’t win” without removing me from the ballot, which made me feel used rather than honored.

    So I shall take my honor from The Sword’s hilarious send up of the porn awards show with the crappiest website of 2013. . . and 2012. . . and 2011 . . . and 2010.

    I also may just have to start giving out my own awards. Who wants a Golden Big Shoe???

  2. Damn it! It make me sick by knowing that Anthony says he is done with porn! Omg! Sad sad sad , saddest of the sad! I hope he was just joking. I am still waiting for his new scene with Tommy and still can not beleive Anthony was not on the list of hottest bottom! Totally insane….he is one of the best bottom of the new generation.

  3. I love how this post was starting out as a serious question as to why these didn’t get a deserved nomination, and then it ends with some great laughs. Zach this is the type of writing that I know and love from you!

  4. I don’t really know what the criteria is and maybe I take these things too seriously (not that I really do). I mean it’s silly to give out a ‘best dick” award because that’s different to every person. That’s not a talent to be critiqued…maybe the parents of the actor should accept that award! But, there seems to be a bias against twink performers overall. And I realize many, esp on the Sword, may not like them, but they do make up alot of the $ in the industry. Instead, we see a heavy dose of all the roids and tats crowd. And, back to who are the best performers, is it about your physical appearance or is it about your “acting”? Johnny Rapid is very engaging…he’s humorous….you really feel like he is that annoying bratty kid down the road. Most of the performers, even the ones I like who were nominated, are honestly boring. So, again I don’t know the criteria. Must be political stuff. Another twink actor whom I really don’t find appealing is Kyle Ross with that skeletal face of his…but he is a great sexual actor…kid really gets into it…definitely feel like he is amongst the better performers. Ditto Marcus Mojo (who is not a twink lol).

    1. I think you are right. There is a bias against twinks, not only in the nomination circuit but also among commentators on gay blogs. If a twink is featured you always get comments that say the model should eat more or that he looks underage or that when he is having sex with a ‘real’ man he will break in two. Hope that next year more attention will be given to twinks.

  5. Between the various epic snubbages, the one I am very surprised for real is the absence of Johnny Rapid… he is after all one of the most popular porn people of 2012 (judging from the “most searched” statistics) and pretty prolific too. Perhaps the announcement of his g4pness with paternity played against him?

  6. Completely Snubbed! Ridiculously Snubbed! Snub Of the Year! Epic Snubbage! Snubbed Beyond Belief… eyebrows, dancing poms, photoshop!!! omg you’re killing me! Hahahha

    1. Because he likes to write long texts that are full of big words with more than two syllables and MAN that must make him a genius or something.
      Of course, I am mocking but when you put him next to, say, Spencer Reed who can’t even manage to make sense while talking dirty in a porn scene, it is not hard to come off as an “intellectual”.
      Which Habib may be btw. Now, whether the intellectual is actually intelligent is a whole different question.

  7. Maybe they were pissed because Anthony was giving the porn industry the side eye during his “interview” with Fefe? Oh, and he says he’s retired.

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