Ron Paul? Mitt Romney? Rick Santorum? While many (41% according to the latest Des Moines Register poll) are still undecided about whom to vote for in the Iowa caucuses, an even bigger “who would you rather”-type question looms over Hawkeye state voters tonight: Which one of Mitt Romney’s sons would you rather fuck?
Mitt Romney is poised to place first in this evening’s contest, a win that could help propel him to victories in the New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Florida primaries, which could all ultimately make him the GOP’s candidate for president of the United States. But isn’t the bigger prize being named the male Romney that most people would like to fuck? Putting politics aside, which of Mittens’ five hot Mormon sons would you like to hate-fuck all the way to the ballot box in November?
Matt Romney
Age: 40
Bio: Lives in San Diego, masters in business, married with children.
Looks pretty dull and sounds (especially after his birther joke) as dumb as a box of rocks. I’d hit it, as long he never opened his mouth to speak.
Ben Romney
Age: 33
Bio: Married, doctor, lives in Boston. Calls himself the “oddball” of the family.
It’s always the creepy looking ones who are kinky or well hung, so yes, I’d hit it—with a bag over his head. And a bag over my head.
Craig Romney
Age: 30
Bio: Married, Brigham Young graduate, advertising music producer, rumored to be gay! (According to a rumor I just started.)
Even though this psychopath believes that Jesus used to have dinner with the Indians in North America, I would still hit it because he kind of looks like a poor man’s James Franco.
Tagg Romney
Age: 41
Bio: Married with children, masters in business, works as senior adviser for Romney for President, Inc. Favorite books include “The Hobbit” and the “Book of Mormon.”
Gross.
Josh Romney
Age: 36
Bio: Married with children, real estate developer with masters in business. Likes surfing.
I think we have a winner. Josh is no doubt as boring in bed as listening to his dad speak, but he’s the only one who doesn’t look like he could double as a used car salesmen/serial killer, so yes, I’d hit it. I’d hit it as hard as a Mormon hits his misbehaving wife!
Which Romney would you rather? Tagg, Craig, JOSH, or Matt? (Sorry, the weird looking one isn’t in this pic, not that you’d pick him anyway.)
I will vote for Obama but I would do Matt. He’s hot!
It is physiologically impossible to have five straight sons.
Wow, as desperate as I am for ass and cock these days, I gotta say here, not a one of them even make me remotely want to do anything with them except run screaming!
There’s just something that is way too damn creepy and odd about that whole bunch. They give me that same vibe I got from thinking about the goings on that went on in the Jim Baker and Tammy Fay clan. Don’t get me wrong, I think Tammy was ultimately a good soul in the end…..but when you put this much creepy weirdness together with this much power and money….. it just makes one feel very strange and afraid of it.
Nope, wouldn’t be able to hit, tap, lick, suck or fuck even a one of these scary breeders. Not a one.
What is it with famous, (all?) mormons? Osmonds? Romneys? Those teeth, those “God buried a book in America, damned teeth!” I’m afraid they’re gonna bite me.
Even if they were Democrats, I still wouldn’t find any of them attractive. The fact that they are Repugnicans makes them all the more ugly.
Craig looks like he is half hispanic. Maybe Mitt boffed the maid, got her pregnant, and made the wife raise the kid like it was her own. Hell, Arnold had a love child with the maid. How many other republican politicians do you think are out there fucking every easy piece of ass to prove their manhood? The funny thing is, they insist on not wearing condoms. They don’t care if their squirt gets a woman pregnant or about STD’s. If only us gays had it so easy.
Holy Crap! I never would have guessed Romney had a 41 year old son. I guess that means he’s in his 60’s? I pictured him being the type to have young kids still at home like Palin. Anywayz, I might have fucked one or two of them in their younger days, but now… not so much. Then there’s also the fact that most of them look like their father, and that is kind of a turn off. Mitt gives me a queasy American Psycho vibe. It’s kinda scary!
Yuck!
Um… Ew
Zach, thank you for posting close-up pictures of the RomBots. Every other site has pictures of them taken from a distance and then accompanies it with commentary from teenaged Republican girls about how cute the RomBots are. Thank you for proving that a) there is an epidemic of alcoholic beer-gogglism among young Republican women; b) all those silver ring pledges have left them so desperate that they’ll fuck anything; c) they’re all gold-digging sluts who’ll give up the chance of having pretty babies in return for a slice of the inheritance.
In reply to your question, Zach, if you provide me with enough alcohol, a dry cleaning account and a taxi service to get me out of there as soon as the deed is done, then I’ll do the first one I throw up on. If I’m projectile puking and manage to hit more than one, you’ll have to provide a photographer/cameraman to take pictures as well (obvs you get publishing rights to the photos, but we share profits from the sex tape).
I think they are all bottoms- probably into fisting
You say that like having your insides hanging out of your prolapsed anus is a bad thing.
Josh is the only attractive one, but I’d just make him drink my piss.
The Romney boys, the reason gimp masks were invented
Ugh, robots make my dick wilt.
It’s actually kind of shocking how ugly they all are since Willard looks like the perfect male mannequin. Maybe it’s inbreeding.
Jon Huntsman’s kids are cuter, across the board.
Well, have fun scissoring with them.
Who would I rather? I’d rather watch porn.
Josh is the less gross looking/weird so I pick him(?) and by the way, you were very kind to Craig by saying he’s a poor James Franco LOL
Recall last election when Mitt Romney was asked why no son had ever served in the military. “They serve the country by helping me get elected.” He quickly had to backtrack “What I meant was……”
Then when he was criticized for purchasing an opulent mansion on the most expensive real estate coastline La Jolla in Southern California we were assured “It wasn’t for him, it was for his sons” that he was tearing it down and quadrupling the size of it.
Can’t stand them. Spoiled brats.
Neither!
I’d have to go with Matt, I’m sure I could find a way to stop him talking.
Can we play Fuck, Marry, Kill with this one?
In that case, I’d fuck Josh and Matt, then kill them after I’m done with them.
I’d rather play “Who would you throat punch, bludgeon with a statue of Brigham Young, or harvest their organs for the black market?” Then again I do the same thing with gay4payers…. I might be in a rut.
LOL. Great idea, Alex. Go ahead. Show the world how big and powerful the LGBT community is by killing people who wouldn’t even be in that job had nobody bothered to pay them (AKA the gays that pay the gay4payers.) That’s sure to help our cause. You’re such a smart and sexy homosexual Che Guevara. I’m sure they’ll make a pink button with your face on it someday.
Oh Belize – girl, get over yourself. I mean really, who elected you the anointed champion of the “gay cause”?
Laffin out loud at you! Thanks for the giggle though, I thoroughly needed it this morning!
Besides, I doubt that you’ve ever even punched anybody. How can you reach other people from that pulpit of yours?
Hey, that’s my rut you’re in! But I guess there’s room in here for two. Are you cute though? as that IS the main requirement for rut-sharing.
They are all hideous inside out. I wouldn’t even piss on them