So instead of coming up with the best films of the decade, we stuck to titles. Our favorites below.
10. Fuck My Ass, I’ll Suck Your Cock
(Raging Stallion, 2007)
Sounds like a good deal to us! This descriptive title is a refreshing buoy of straight-forwardness in an ocean of over-wrought innuendo.
9. The Crystal Tunnel
(Stable, 2000)
We love this title because it’s evocative of our two favorite things: giant, gaping rectums and hardcore drug abuse.
8. Bonerable
(Factory, 2002)
This would be the worst word in the English language if it were actually a word, and it doesn’t help that the thing on the cover looks entirely sluttainted.
7. Skuff 4: Downright Fierce
(Hot House, 2009)
At first we were surprised (downright so even) that tough-as-nails Hot House would pull from Tyra’s lexicon. But then we thought: there’s a reason that it’s called gay porn.
6. Super Barrio Brothers
(Latino Fan Club, 2006)
Just because there’s a porno version now doesn’t mean we’ll stop jerking off to the video game.
5. Dangling Chad
(West Hollywood, 2001)
It’s only funny if there’s no Bush.
4. Guess Who’s Cummin’ To Dinner
(Chocolate Cream, 2009)
We can’t believe such an egregious typo of one of the most common words in English wound its way onto a boxcover.
3. The Twink Whisperer
(PZP, 2008)
You can whisper all you want, but the only way to get a twink to come is to yell ‘free vodka.’
2. Farts!
(Lucas Entertainment, 2008)
An exclamation point has never been put to better use.
1. Das Butt
(West Hollywood, 1996)
Sure, it’s not from this decade, but we’re including it. Why? Because it’s the perfect porn title, that’s why — as well as proof that most porn directors are just really nerdy film students at heart.
Here are the other participants of this group-blog effort to chronicle the best in the decade of gay porn:
Mark Adams of VidioView.
The editors of Fleshbot.com.
The editors of GayPornBlog.com.
Butch Harris of ManNet.com.
Mark Kliem of LavenderLounge.com.
Gossip columnist Billy Masters.
Jason Sechrest of JasonCurious.com.
Porn journalist Vincent Lambert.
Mickey Skee of Adult Video News.
JC Adams of GayPornTimes.com.
Nick Young of NickYoungXXX.com.
Onan the Vulgarian of XXFactor.com.
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Is it a coincidence that 2 of the titles were directed by the O’Brians?
FARTS is priceless. LOL
We’ll take that as fierce look in our direction. For the record, Skuff IV has some fierce fucking. Nice work.
Dictionary.com:
fierce? ?[feers]
–adjective, fierc?er, fierc?est.
1. menacingly wild, savage, or hostile: fierce animals; a fierce look.
2. violent in force, intensity, etc.: fierce winds.
3. furiously eager or intense: fierce competition.
No mention of Tyra or Paris is Burning…
But The Sword = Fierce Cuntness!
Blake Harper once told me you aren’t a “star” until you’ve done a title like “Ass-Lick Alley.”