April 2008

Jason Curious Not Asian, Not a Bottom, And Still Not A Racehorse

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In a moment of cognitive dissonance that can only be compared to finding out your favorite lube was actually LA Looks Gel, gay porn publicist Jason Curious unveiled both his non-Asian paternity and his identity as a sexual top in one fell swoop. The confession came after his inability to access the local spray-tanning salon resulted in the slow fade to his true racial identity, Irish, which might explain his resemblance to Judy Garland.

HBO Luring Viewers With Promise of Hung Men Who’ll Do Anything for a Dollar

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HBO has seen the writing on the wall, and it says “For a good time call …”

The premium cable network is developing several new adult-themed projects, including a project about a well-endowed father and basketball coach who decides to maximize his income using his best asset, and is titled, appropriately enough, Hung. The project, lined up by HBO Entertainment president Sue Naegle is a dark comedy but hopefully with a woman at the helm, we’ll get to see more than shadows.

Ronaldo vs. The Tranny Hooker: Cameraphone Video Surfaces Showing Soccer Star In Motel

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Brazilian soccer star Ronaldo has apparently gone into hiding as a scandal unfolds involving drugs and three tranny hookers who he claims he didn’t know were trannies.  Despite one of the trannies being in posession of his ID and her claims to the press that Ronaldo picked them up in a club, took them to a motel and sent one of them out to get drugs, Brazilian police are saying they are inclined to believe Ronaldo’s version of the story, in which he brought one lovely lady back to a motel, only to have her invite two friends over and to discover, to his great and drunken surprise, that they all had penises and wanted to extort him.

‘Day of Truth’ Silenced

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The “Day of Truth” scheduled to occur on Monday in response to last Friday’s Day of Silence fell on deaf ears. Things were pin-drop silent, even on the pro-family and conservative webs, compared to Friday’s event which was recognized at thousands of schools across the nation and got plenty of press coverage. Fundamentalist (fundie) Christian legal org The Alliance Defense Fund tired out this Day of Truth concept in order to “counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda” and speak the “truth” about heterosexual conversion. This was meant in response to the GLSEN(Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network)-sponsored Day of Silence, meant to combat bullying in schools, and this year honored the memory of Lawrence King.

In Not-So-New Book, Lucas Asks Us To Smell His Fingers

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Corey Taylor may have published his biography Naked: The Life and Pornography of Michael Lucas last June, but since Lucas didn’t like it (he called the fawning work “an unmitigated disaster,” and we see his point), we never got a copy. And after reading Aiden Shaw’s, My Undoing we sort of swore not to pick up another porn bio again. A year later, we were bored enough to open the mail from a publicist hoping to breathe life into a moribund paperback, and found that the wisdom of Mr. Lucas shines through the ham-handed prose.

ABC News Finds People In Alabama Not Cool With Gay PDA

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ABC News conducted a little social experiment for 20/20 which aired on Friday in which they had two sets of actors, one a gay couple and one a lesbian couple, sitting on park benches and kissing in broad daylight.  They tried this in two locations: Birmingham, Alabama and Verona, New Jersey.  Guess what they found? While straight men tended to not mind seeing the pretty lesbos getting it on (shock!), many folks found the boys kissing to be distasteful, especially in the South.  

Jimi Hendrix Kisses the Sky and Two Brunette Sluts, Vivid’s Got The Release


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Those who thought Cynthia P. Caster’s plaster cast of (actual) guitar hero Jimi Hendrix’s schlong would be the closest you’d come to seeing the rock star’s full girth have another thing coming-and it’s “long” and “purple”. Vivid Video has attained the exclusive rights to a sordid sex tape of the deceased rock musician and is releasing it without further ado, both on website hendrixsextape.com and in a DVD edition hitting stores on May 6th. Shot in 1968, the video features not only a graphic menage-a-trois between Jimi and a pair of svelte brunettes, but also commentary from aged glam groupies Pamela Des Barres and Cynthia P. Caster herself. Upon gazing at her former sculpture subject, Caster exclaimed “No doubt about it… That’s Jimi Hendrix’s dick, and I should know!” Much like the Marilyn Monroe sextape of yesterweek, this chronicle of the humping un-dead is being hotly contested, an argument.

Freddie Mercury Does Ballet Circa 1977

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Freddie refers to his lifestyle as “very grand” in this 1977 interview with the BBC, and the interviewer makes a funny comment, over footage of Freddie mincing around with a whip, about Freddie never being called “conservative.” But the gem here is footage of Freddie performing with Royal Ballet.

Reasons You Should Have Already Known That Chuck Palahniuk Is Gay

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Bestselling author of Fight Club and hero of semi-literate straight men everywhere, Chuck Palahniuk has finally, officially, come out of the closet to the gay press. In an interview currently online and being published in The Advocate‘s May issue, Chuck takes the interviewer on a tour of the Portland Memorial Mausoleum and claims he’s been “out for a million years,” however for the last decade of his literary fame-since the publication of that hyper-masculine yet deeply homoerotic tome Fight Club-Palahniuk has declined interviews with the gay press and avoided giving details about his personal life to other interviewers, either out of a desire for privacy or a desire to preserve his largely young, straight male readership.

Study Finds Emerging Gay Meccas Growing in Unlikely Places, Including Underarm of Florida

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Though urban gays may pride themselves on never living more than fifty yards from a Starbucks, tens or hundreds of gays are apparently moving to the unlikeliest of cities according to a new study done by the Williams Institute at UCLA Law School. The study (reported on ahead of The Advocate issue’s release in Tulsa World) uses 2006 Census Bureau estimates of same sex couples and compares these with 2000 Census figures, and  found that the five American cities which have changed the most in their gay-and-lez-cohabitating populations are Tulsa, OK; Anchorage, AK; Plano, TX; Fort Wayne, IN; and glorious Jacksonville, FL.

Mama Said Knock You Out: Is Boxing the New Rugby?

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Could boxing be the newest gay fetish? And, if so, what does it say about the direction of gay culture? A few years ago, soccer and rugby were both consumer obsessions and prime fetish material with David Beckham’s hair and bulges flopping across fields. But suddenly, it seems, everyone-from amateur personals sites (link NSFW) to major porn studios-is throwing punches.

Madonna Album, Which Every Good Card Carrying Gay Heard Last Week, Officially Drops

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The album leaked, either by accident or by design (fuck you Warner Brothers!), a week ago Sunday, but the real launch date for Madonna’s 98th studio album, Hard Candy, is April 29th.  HX got to go to one of those official listening parties (this one it sounds like for just the gay press, led by famed publicist Liz Rosenberg) and since we only sometimes like Madonna and we weren’t invited, we’re just going to point you to Trenton Straube’s breathless and exhaustive notes on all the tracks, which are printed side by side with Madonna’s own notes on the songs. 

It’s Been a Bad Month for Steam Queens: Crackdowns on Sauna Sex in NYC, Utah, and Israel

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The NYC Health Department has been surveying bars, sex clubs and bathhouses since 2005 in an ongoing effort to enforce laws against oral, anal, or vaginal sex that occurs in places of business, and so far they have noted numerous violations but only shut down two sex clubs, El Mirage and Studio and sent warnings to multiple other bars and bathhouses. GMHC and other gay orgs support the city’s efforts, and believe they can work with Health Dept. officials in future to revise the code with a more anti-unsafe-sex, and less anti-sex language.

Meanwhile, over in Mormon Country, we hear tell of a case in which a gym has battled with city inspectors for years over charges of lewd conduct in its steam room, and was forced to shut down in 2006 after undercover police found  a single incident of oral sex in violation of a previous court order.

We Interrupt This Funeral to Bring You Damon Kruezer’s Claims

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Pioneering French director Jean-Daniel Cadinot died last week from heart failure, JC Adams reported on Friday. While many stars and directors, including Michael Lucas (who performed as Ramzes Kairoff in two mid-nineties films for Cadinot), Chi Chi LaRue and Blue Blake, offered up heartfelt tributes to the influential director, other’s were less polite. The crepe-hanging scene stealer? That would be Damon Kruezer, the adult industry’s locked-in-the-basement stepchild.

Shia, Ian, Dita, and Zac: A Mostly Shirtless, Mostly Coachella Gallery

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It’s Monday and most of Gen Y and half of Gen X are piling into their hybrids and speeding back to their beds in the greater Los Angeles metro area and points north. We ourselves took a pass this year, but we got some texts late last night from friends (“JUSTICE! Woo hoO!” “Prince is such a tranny.”) and the internets are abuzz with various sitings.  After the jump, a mostly shirtless gallery from the three-day acid-, beer-, and ecstasy-fest, which we like to think of as Burning Man Lite for the OC set (and a bonus shot of Zac Efron hard at work on HSM3).

Sagat Humps Ottoman for Art

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He’s young, hung and taking leather fetish to a new level. After pulling his mask-and-fishnet videos off of YouTube a few months back, he ever arty François Sagat is back and doing interpretive rubs to the ottoman of Titan honcho Keith Webb, this time under the name bullheather, to the reverse sounds of The Kills. It’s not necessarily any more accessible than his earlier interpretive work, but we love him anyway, just so long as he’s shirtless.

RELATED:
Sagat Loses Mind, Buttock Covering
Has Sagat Gone Mad?
They Call Me Chucky: Jeff Stryker’s Personal YouTube Page

BullHeather (YouTube.com)

Times Mag Profiles Soon-to-Be Young Gay Divorces

GC-NYTGayNewleywedsTH.jpg An article in the Times Magazine about young gay marrieds in Boston may feature only two young divorcés, but given the saccharine and heteronormative couplings, we’re giving most of them two years, tops. Is it the 50s style photos that irk us so much? The revamped cardigans and bow-ties? No, it’s the idea that the gay community’s top aspiration these days seems to be a half-century social regression. Have fun with the low-carb Stroganoff, boys–here’s hoping the sexual revolution comes quickly.

Nudes, Neuters and Dave Navarro: The Week in Gay Photos

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If you believe that creativity and wit are as intrinsically tied to homosexuality, in the vein of Oscar Wilde and Will Smith, as much as anal sex and non-jalapeno poppers, you might want to review the past week in gay photos. Have at it-we’re going to get drunk.

New York Club Kids on Joan Rivers Show ca. 1993

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Party Monster was on IFC last night, and it’s the weekend so we thought we’d take you back to the clublands of yesteryear, long before Christian Siriano popularized the use of ‘fierce’ and ‘tranny mess,’ with this clip from Joan Rivers’ talk show ca. 1993. Michael Alig, James St. James, Amanda Lepore and co. did the talk show circuit for a couple years, appearing on Geraldo five times and droning on about their own fabulousness and their collective quest for glamor and world domination.

Also, we just found Michael Alig’s MySpace page! Looks like he’s working on an autobiography called “Alig-ula” and he’s up for parole again in 2008, so look out kids! 

RELATED: Elton John, Joan Rivers & Cher Sing Trio

Gay Times to Gays: Potential Employers Don’t Want to See You In a Diaper on Facebook

Working in the porn world sometimes allows us to forget that there are actually employers out there who might give a shit that we’re huge whores in our spare time.  Clearly CNN would prefer that prominent talking head Richard Quest had not been nabbed in Central Park by cops at 3AM with a rope around his neck and balls and some meth in his pocket, but just think if they had seen him like that in his Manhunt profile while he was interviewing for the job! They *might* have thought twice about hiring his pervy ass.

This Week In Gay Teens Kissing on TV: Gossip Girl and As the World Turns

CS-LukeNoahKissTH.jpg SPOILER ALERT! Chace Crawford may be getting punk’d by queer craigslisters bent on outing him at the Chelsea Equinox, but little blond Connor Paolo who plays Eric van der Woodson is the one who’s in for some on-screen face-sucking with another boy in the very near future. Co-star Kelly Rutherford spilled the beans that he’s the ‘mo, but E! Online dug deeper to find out that it’s actually going to be Jenny Humphrey’s new boyfriend who gets caught making out with Eric in the “All About My Brother” episode which is set to air May 5th. (We could have sworn it was going to be Chuck, after he was talking so sweetly with little Eric this week about taking him to party in Europe, but anyway, yah, we have no lives.)

They Call Me Chucky: Jeff Stryker’s Personal YouTube Page

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Ten years after his last movie, Jeff Stryker still commands one of the most impressive names in porn. Whether you think he’s a superstar, a train wreck or a Norma Desmond-ish conflation of the two, few can do it quite
like he does. He may have helped invent the whole “gay-for-pay” porn
star mold, but his early work with Matt Sterling and John Travis is every bit as
strong today as it was twenty years go. We have seen precious little of his wooden,
tough-talking-top schtick (anyone remember 1999’s “Can I Be Your Bratwurst Please?” Thought not.), which is why we were so excited when we stumbled upon his self-administered YouTube page.

Country Tranny Shakes Her “Poak Chops”

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Shake your ham hocks!  We have no idea who this tranny Tamechi is or where she came from, but this video is fantastic and we sort of like the song too!

New Generation of Bears Doesn’t Want To Be Called Bears, But You Can Woof

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You can woof at him, but don’t call him a bear. Or do-it’s all good. In the tradition of relaxed and well-fed hirsuits everywhere, Pinups Magazine editor Christopher Shultz tells NY’s HX that he doesn’t really care what you call him, just so long as you’re masturbating while you do it. He’s into natural things, you know, like bees and honey and nude men. As he tells interviewer Brandon Voss,

 

Around the Gay Globe: Bahrain Hates Fags, Poland Hates Fags, Singapore Hates Fags

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Oh, and did we mention Moscow hates us too?

The small, backwards Middle Eastern island nation of Bahrain has been trying to crack down on homosexuality in recent months, surveying beauty salons and spas, heightening customs inspections to prevent foreign gays from entering the country, and launching a study to determine how widespread the disease of buttfuckery may be in the country. Now it seems they’re targeting children, hoping to punish those students who might “veer” toward homosexuality.

Weekend Event Roundup: April 25-27

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Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Jeff Stryker Performs “Bigger Than Life”

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You’d think a guy with a penis as legendary as the one owned by Jeff Stryker would be content to kick back, grow a belly and watch TV while a revolving door of bill-bearing homosexuals dropped by to sup at his ten-inch teat. But no! He’s got muscles, a fab haircut and led a rad rock band. Now that’s a star!

Stryker later went on to record “Pop You In the Pooper” and other campier hits with his Soggy Bottom Boys, and has starred in various plays and one-man shows, but nothing quite compares to this bangle-y, hand-clapping, shoulder-wiggling performance from the 1991 Matt Sterling classic Bigger Than Life.

We All Thought Serena’s Little Brother Would Be the Gay One On ‘Gossip Girl’

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…And we were right! Oops! Did we spoil that for you? No, Kelly Rutherford did. The CW actress, who flawlessly portrays the best character on the show, Serena’s vain, Birkin-toting mother with a slutty grunge-era past, spilled the beans to Us Magazine in an exclusive video airing on their website. “Mom’s always the last to know,” she reasons in reference to her soon-to-be-outed on-screen son Eric van der Woodsen (played by Connor Paolo). So, Eric is totally gay, girl? “Yes, I think so,” Rutherford nods, in a hilarious realization that she’s probably said too much. “-We did… film it, so I do think, yes.”

 

Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Freddie Mercury

GC-FreddieMercuryTH.jpg We’re trying to cover our bases with this series, examining everyone from obviously queeny minstrels like Charles Nelson Reilly and Paul Lynde to down-low homo stars like Anthony Perkins and Rock Hudson. And we’re actually starting to empathize with old Momwhen it comes to not being clued in to all the inside jokes and subtle (or not-so) fashion evidence paraded before them when these homos appeared on screen. We still can’t really forgive her for saying that the Village People “went right over [her] head,” but we at least kind of get that not everyone was all that cosmopolitan, and it was easier just to assume Truman Capote was “theatrical” than to shake up the Eisenhower-era-hangover that relegated these proto-Pride-Day MCs to the realm of “characters,” or just “perpetual bachelors.” Today, we look at a slightly different breed than the rest.

Raging Stallion Nabs Director Tony DiMarco from Lucas

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Former Lucas Entertainment videographer and director Tony DiMarco has jumped ship and is shooting with Raging Stallion, sources at the studio tell us. Dimarco worked with Lucas on beginning as a videographer in 2004 with Lost, eventually sharing directing credit on GayVN-winning La Dolce Vita. In addition to shooting and directing, DiMarco served a major role in Lucas Entertainment operations, editing, casting and helping produce some of the studio’s biggest hits.

The defection of DiMarco to Raging Stallion marks another high-profile get for the San Francisco-based studio. Shortly after their near sweep of the GayVN Awards for GRUNTS in February, Raging Stallion signed former Titan Exclusive Damien Crosse to an exclusive contact.

Jenna Jameson Talks Porn and Zombies with ‘The View’ Gals

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Porn superstar Jenna Jameson was on The View last week promoting her new mainstream crossover attempt, Zombie Strippers. Watch as everyone pretends not to be uncomfortable with the porn queen in the room, as Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s eyes nearly pop out of her head from hatred, and if you listen close, you can hear Whoopi say, “I love you,” as she hugs Jenna hello.

Style Icon Phil ST John Launches Blog, Fashion Movement

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It’s hard for us to put into
words why we’re so fond of artist-slash-porn auteur Phil ST John.  The bleach blond,
always cigar-chomping, usually somehow furry director is the loudest dressed
person at every GayVN awards (no easy task if you’ve ever been to one).
The only thing louder than his
outfits might be his movies. Three must-see entries from his canon stand out, 

The Sword Presents Jesse Metcalfe’s Chest Hair: The Evolution


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Graphing the life cycle of trends in male grooming can be difficult. For example, Adnan Ghalib. For some, a full beard, opaque dark chest, and strands of back hair that you can make braids out of is a classic look that will never go out of style. For others, waxing and shaving is an addiction that knows no bounds, and total baldness will always be a goal. However, we’ve noticed in recent years a steady decline in manscaping and a penchant for the hairier, more rugged aesthetic, both in porn and in mainstream Hollywood. Instead of building a complex chart, timeline, or bar graph on this formidably intellectual matter, let’s just watch Jesse Metcalfe as a cultural litmus test.

Cock the Vote! An Immodest Proposal For Porn Awards

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The long-running Hard Choice Awards announced their results last night and reminded us that there’s more to life than the GayVNs. A lot more. Raging Stallion took home some more top prizes (Best Director for Chris Ward and Ben Leon, and Best Film, GRUNTS) but with the Grabbys in a month, and a host of smaller award shows in the meantime (including the WeHo XXX Awards, the Cybersocket Awards, the European Gay Porn Awards and the Rentboy Awards), it’s more complicated than the presidential primaries. Which got us thinking

NY Construction Worker Told to Love His Anus, Stop Blaming Hospital

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The New York State Supreme Court found in favor of New York-Presbyterian hospital today in a suit brought by Brian Persaud, a construction worker hit over head with a wooden beam who claims he was unlawfully given a rectal exam.  Apparently Persaud had to be given a heavy sedative and he claims that his pleas for hospital staff not to shove anything up his bum went unheeded.  A misdemeanor assault charge was filed against Persaud for subsequently hitting a doctor, but that charge was dismissed.

Abercrombie Catalog Resurrected in European Adult-Only Version

MM-AbercrombieCatalogTH.jpg The fundies managed to kill the softcore spank mag that was the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog a few years back, but that’s not where the story ends, gentlemen and pervs! It lives again, with photography by the venerable Bruce Weber, in Europe!  We know, we know, a lot of good this does you and your mailbox full of L’Occitane catalogs and pictures of Hillary Clinton. But you can see a few of the photos of twunk model David Fair here and here. And honestly, if you’re over 30 you shouldn’t be shopping in this store anyway. You’re free to breeze in, sniff the greeters and purchase a gift for your nephew, but otherwise put the frayed shorts down and go back to Bloomingdales, dude. You’re not fooling anyone.

Closeted Rappers To Be Outed By MTV Exec?


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Former MTV executive Terrance Dean is publishing a no-holds-barred indictment of rap music’s biggest closet cases this May-could P. Diddy’s greatest nightmare be about to rear its ugly gayface?  Hiding In Hip-Hop, published by Atria Books, is “filled with intrigue, sexy celebrity bed partners, abundance of drugs, and of course, the down low/gay men and celebrities in the entertainment industry.” We’ll see. For now, we offer up our predictions on who might be exposed for treading too lightly in their FILAs.

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