February 2009

Unzipped Wants to Swallow Our Cum

Sword Swallower Awareness DayUnzipped posted a CNN news report announcing that tomorrow is International Sword Swallowers Awareness Day. Our response: yes, Unzipped, that’s fine — we’ll chug some pineapple juice and be right on over. Poppers cool?

A Toast to An Aged Drunk Valium Whore: Liz Taylor Turns 77

Liz Taylor Turns 77We love Liz Taylor, not just for her young, glamourous days or for her middle-aged scene-chewing moments in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but for the sloppy, yelping, wheelchair-bound, Paula Abdul of her generation that she’s become.

Brent Corrigan Testifies Against Harlow Cuadra, Himself

Brent Corrigan Testifies in Harlow Cuadra Murder TrialThe judge overseeing Harlow Cuadra’s murder trial interrupted Brent Corrigan’s testimony this morning to warn the twink-bucket porn star that he may have “incriminated himself criminally” by admitting under oath that he had forged documents to appear in porn as a minor.

Zac Is Banging a Boy Named Bubba

Zac Efron's BF/BFF Bubba LewisThe tweens among you (Shout out to our tween readers! You should really be somewhere more wholesome!) might know Bubba Lewis from his guest appearances on 7th Heaven and Hannah Montana, or from the gossip rags that have been mentioning him as Zac Efron’s BFF for the past year.

The NYTimes Fags Out Over Man-Ass

New York Times Model Aaron O'Connell NudeTo support its claim that men are paying more attention to their asses and buying tighter pants, today’s New York Times found a model with a perfect ass and put him in tight pants. What we did was find a picture of that model’s penis.

Iraqi Gays Would Like Saddam Hussein Back Please

Satan and Gay SaddamToday in international news: Iraq death squads are killing gays in the name of Islam, Moscow pride organizers will see their president in court, and a radioactive London pedophile is on the loose.

STOP WEARING THIS: Lady Jeans

Stop Wearing This: Lady JeansNothing grosses us out more than seeing a beautiful man–perfect jaw, good teeth, tits to beat the band–only to have him turn around and he’s got some embroidered fucking jeans on with lady flaps on the pockets to keep his tampons from falling out.

‘Clue’ to Get Remade By Asshole Who Made ‘Pirates’ Movies

Madeleine Kahn in ClueTo quote our pal at Dlisted: “What in the singing telegram fuckery is this?!”  The geniuses that rule Hollywood and give us such wonders as He’s Just Not That Into You are remaking Clue, and if anyone wants to help declare gay war, we’ll lead the charge.

My So-Called Gay Life

So, we just posted one of this dude Mike Diamond’s videos yesterday. But for realz, how did he get our lives *so right?*  He doesn’t even know us.

We Care About the Hard Choice Awards

15th Annual Hard Choice AwardsFor the past 15 years, an expert one-man committee named Olan the Vulgarian has doled out thoughtful awards from a crusty swivel-chair somewhere.

Sites We Love: Naked In the City

Naked In the CityIt purports to “feature naked experiences from around the globe,” but the real star and most frequent contributor to the blog Naked In the City is the site’s founder, himself.

Willy Warmer Will Warm Your Willy

Willy Warmer: Knift Underwear on EbayA “fetishknitter” on eBay has created a mohair g-string that promises effective willy incubation. Bidding now stands at $27.99. We suggest that the knitter use the money to replace his female mannequin with a male mannequin.

Lindsay Lohan Clearly Back on the Blow

Lindsay Lohan Coked Up After the OscarsIn case you missed it, and just because we love videos of cokey celebrities, please take in this clip of La Lohan at an Oscar afterparty, talking about how much she loves Penelope Cruz and how many projects she’s working on and how AMAZING everything is in her life…

‘Rupaul’s Drag Race’: The SHOCKING 4th Full Episode

Rupaul's Drag Race Episode 4They’re now showing Ru’s big drag-stravaganza on VH1 in addition to airing it on Logo and streaming it online, so hopefully any of you lazy, “I don’t have Logo” complainers have managed to catch up by now on our FAVORITE FUCKING SHOW of the season.

Poor People in Echo Park Given Free Porn c/o Cybersocket

cybersocket magazines dumped in Echo ParkGay porn web chroniclers Cybersocket have been getting calls recently from an Episcopal Church in Los Angeles’ Echo Park neighborhood where a dumpster keeps filling up with thousands of their penis-filled magazines.

Oscars Very Long, Gay; ‘Milk’ Fans Only Half-Happy

Sean Penn Wins A Second OscarOne of us watched the Oscars at the Castro Theatre in SF, drowning in drunk queens who shrieked and squealed every time a clip from Milk was shown. Another of us watched from home, and started drooling on himself sometime during the “romance” montage.

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