July 2012

Gay Porn Problems

Do you like math? Do you like gay porn? Here then, try and solve these gay porn problems.

Lollipop Twink Jake Lyons’ Bizarre New Life: “I’m Not Gay!”

Lollipop Twink Jake Lyons’ long and complex history as a troubled gay porn star has been well documented here over the past two years, but none of his prior adventures can compare to his life now, which includes a name change, a new business, a move to Kansas, conspiracy theories involving Time Warner Cable and Corbin Fisher, accusations that his …

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Mick?!?

I guess this is who you were talking to in the shower? Fine. But why send me this video of him licking your taint, Mick?

Mick?

Mick? Why did you send me this video of you taking a shower?!

Let’s Not And Say We Did

Love this new official video (shot in one take!), love Jimmy Fanz Jake Shears, and love that a song–specifically, a song title–so flamboyantly ridiculous has entered the mainstream lexicon. But, be careful. The more people keep saying “let’s have a kiki” (and you know who you are, queens), the more in danger it is of becoming this generation’s “who let …

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Jimmy Clay Fucked Three Gay Porn Newcomers This Week, But Which One Is The Hottest?

Jimmy Clay has fucked more guys in gay porn than he’s had different hairstyles in gay porn (and he’s had like 800 hairstyles), and this week Jimmy Clay is fucking not one, not two, but three guys who are all new to gay porn. Help me judge which one of these newcomers is the hottest, based in part on how …

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I Watched All These Gay Reality Shows So You Don’t Have To

One of the perks(?) of being a guest contributor on The Sword is that all of the entertainment companies send me screeners of their gay reality shows, and I recently got a special insider exclusive sneak peek at several of this fall’s best(?) ones!

The Top 20 Most Incredible Things That Happen When You Search For “Brent Everett” On Tumblr

After an exhaustive and scientific (sort of) analysis of gay porn on the internet last night, it’s official: Gay porn star/entrepreneur/business owner/model/entertainer Brent Everett is the most blogged and reblogged about gay porn star on Tumblr. This is partly because he has been making gay porn since before Tumblr existed (and still basically looks the same age as when he …

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Toldja! Jake Bass (Finally) Named 6th Place Winner In Fleshjack Contest

I reported it here exclusively over two weeks ago, and now the stunt queens at Fleshjack have finally gotten around to making it “official“: Jake Bass is the 6th place winner in Fleshjack’s annual “Fleshjack Boy” contest. Congratulations, Jake! Like I said back on July 13th, Jake Bass’s win was confirmed by a source deep inside Fleshjack, and like I …

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Whose Cum Did Gabriel Clark Eat The Best?

Gay Porn Blog recently reminded me that all Gabriel Clark likes to do is eat cum. If cum came from a faucet, Gabriel would drink cum, too. How much cum has Gabriel Clark eaten and drank over the years? All of the cum.

I Crashed My Car Upon Learning That Grindr Had Crashed And Now I Am Dead

I keep hearing about how people at the Olympics and people at Fire Island and people in places where there are just too many people are suffering because they can’t have sex because Grindr has crashed, but once when I was trying to use Grindr I actually crashed my car into a tree and I died.

The Swordies “Luckiest Bitch Of 2012” Winner: Troy Daniels

In the past year, Troy Daniels has been fucked by the hottest men in gay porn, and as much as I really want to hate him for it, I have come to terms with my jealousy and will instead award him a Swordie for being the Luckiest Bitch Of 2012. Here’s who Troy Daniels has fucked:

Sean Cody’s Marshall Swinging His Dick Around Again

Last time they said that Sean Cody’s Marshall had a dick “the size of two dicks,” and this time they’re turning it into a wrist watch, slapping it, and saying that “it has its own heartbeat.” Everyone please shut up and put the dick in your mouth/butt.

And Here’s The Jake Bass Episode of “Project Go-Go Boy”

Everyone now knows that Jake Bass came in 6th place in that dumb dildo contest (whether Felchjack decides to acknowledge it or not), but what’s more important is that his episode of “Project Go-Go Boy” is out today. Trailer below.

Fleshjack Flub: Dildo Contest Goes Awry After The Sword Leaks Winner’s Name

Last week, The Sword received a tip revealing that Cocky Boys performer Jake Bass would be named one of the six winners in Fleshjack’s annual “Fleshjack Boy” contest. This was verified, re-verified, and then re-re-verified again with a source inside Fleshjack who had direct knowledge of the fan voting results. But instead of announcing Jake Bass as one of the …

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