22-Year-Old Delaware Man Arrested For Flinging Semen In WalMart

While most of us might actually like having strange men throw semen at us, here is reason #942982992 why you should never shop at Walmart.

Via Smoking Gun:

…[T]he 20-year-old victim was standing in a Walmart aisle texting on her phone when Frank Short walked past her, saying “Excuse me.” At that point, police noted, she “suddenly felt something wet on her buttocks, thigh and leg.”

Upon examination, the woman–who thought she may have been spat upon–realized there was a “a ‘glob’ of semen on her leg, just below her knee,” reported police. Preliminary testing of the substance was “indicative of semen,” investigators added.

Short initially claimed to have “sneezed into his hands, then shook his hands off,” adding that some of his mucus may have “flung on to her.” However, Short’s story fluctuated to include the claim that he actually spit in his hand and threw it at the woman. Short also admitted that he thought the woman was “hot” and had “pretended to ‘slap her ass.’”

In response to further questioning, Short–who was hyperventilating–reportedly copped to some severe creepiness, saying that he was a “loner” who “basically gets a thrill out of such an act.”

Short is facing offensive touching with bodily fluid; harassment; disorderly conduct; and lewdness counts.

Well, at least he’s hot.

20 thoughts on “22-Year-Old Delaware Man Arrested For Flinging Semen In WalMart”

  1. I was wondering how far down I’d have to read before someone mentioned those (lack of) eyebrows! I’d prefer a damn uni-brow before some messed up shit like that!

  2. What the fuck happened to his eyebrows? I can understand getting a uni shaped-up, but dude completely shaved 1/3 of each one off! I’d feel more positive about his semen-slinging if he didn’t mess up his brows like that.

  3. Obviously common curtesy is dead. The proper way would have been to ask the lady for permission to jizz on her leg. And really, what do you expect at Walmart, true romance, Nazi treasure, customers who wear decent clothes?

  4. When the friendly lady at the salon said “Half-off brows!” I’m sure he was confused later when he paid full price.

  5. If he lost some weight, I honestly would say that he could be attractive lol

    Facewise he reminds me of Cliff Jensen.

    1. I was thinking the exact same thing SXG. I think that he kind of looks alright there, but if he did lose some weight he really could get the girls that he creeps out with stunts like these.

    1. And why is she a “fat cunt”. My roommate is good friends with Delta and has nothing but nice things to say. And I have seen her perform and she’s an excellent creative performer.

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