Saturday, April 12
- Pre-event drinks with bois to decide about outfits: slutty sheep or slutty firemen?
- Buy helium, Red Bull and dandelions for HyperCleanse; begin HyperCleanse.
- Workout: lower body
Sunday, April 13
- Change MySpace age to 39.
- Cruise Facebook “White Party” group.
- Workout: chest, abs, arms
Monday, April 14
- Change Manhunt age to 34. Add “vers” to profile.
- Donate final $100 to Hillary.
- Cardio, cardio, cardio
Tuesday, April 15
- Call storage to pick-up angel wings
- Call pharmacy for meds
- Call trainer for last-minute intensive
- Call dealer for sense of self-worth.
Wednesday, April 16
- Re-record out-of-office greeting with “Ray of Light” playing in background
- Do full thirty at Sun-sations
- Calculate body fat. Cry.
- Review Drug Interaction Guide
Thursday, April 17
- Add flight and hotel information to BigMuscle.com profile.
- Bubble wrap autographed Taylor Dayne picture for use as possible date lure.
- Pack false-bottomed Viva Glam lipstick “container”
- Board Lucy Liu at Barkly Pet Spa
- Watch Enchanted one last time while applying Strivectin-SD.
- Faint. Begin transition back to solid food.
Friday, April 18
- Enjoy last hour of sleep until Monday.
- Watch “Soulja Boy” instructional video on iPhone.
- Hope that DynaDouche doesn’t lead to TSA search.
photos courtesy of JeffreySanker.com
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.