Though there is nothing specific in Florida law that would prohibit a nudist polling precinct, Brian Corley, who heads elections in Pasco County where the nudist “Caliente Resort” is located, stated, “Even if I was behind what they were asking for — which I explained I am not — it’s just too much to ask right now” Makes sense to us. Forming a new precinct is expensive and requires complex redistricting. And if the nudists want to vote at their current precinct two miles up the road, they can put on some fucking clothes. Otherwise, they can use an absentee ballot.
Sheesh. Every time we wake up in a pile of our own vomit, wearing someone else’s clothes and bleeding painfully from the anus, we feel like degenerate human beings — but then we realize that at least we’re not nudists, and that usually makes us feel a lot better. Sorry to be harsh, but nudists are like morbidly obese children. We know we’re not supposed to hate them; we just do.
Nudists Won’t Get Own Polling Site (St. Petersburg Times)
Below: "The Long Stroke," the cable news spoof, the candid photos, your new favorite euphemism and the great Christian retreat.
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