For its next “I’m a Mac; I’m a PC” commercial, Apple should consider replacing Justin Long with Maggie Gallagher. AMG announced today that its “Beefcake! 1.1” iPhone app was removed from the iTunes store, and that Apple pointed to the two harmless vintage photographs below as “examples” of the app’s “objectionable content.”
Don’t worry, though. If it’s tits and pussy you’re looking for, the iTunes store is still flooded with half-naked women. “Chanel,” “Jasmine” and “Mary” are just a few of the hundreds of sex vessels that Apple is happy to pimp out. What couldn’t be more clear to The Sword is that there is only one solution to this problem, and that’s to find the fucktard Apple executive who thinks shirtless men are obscene and wash his mouth out with a crusty bar of smegma.
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.