Sergio Garcia, who attends the clearly open-minded Fairfax High School — the same school where the Red Hot Chili Peppers went — was crowned prom queen Saturday night in a ballroom at the Roosevelt Hotel.
In a gymnasium speech for his prom queen campaign a few days earlier, Sergio said:
“At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen. Things have changed and it’s no longer just about who has the most friends or who wears the coolest clothes. I’m not your typical prom queen candidate. There’s more to me than meets the eye… I will be wearing a suit. But don’t be fooled, deep down I am a queen.”
Well cheers to you, Sergio. Gays and trannies across this great land of ours are tearing up right now because they, like you, only ever wanted to wear a tiara and wave.
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Below: "The Long Stroke," the cable news spoof, the candid photos, your new favorite euphemism and the great Christian retreat.
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