Black Guys Talk About How Fucking Weird Some White Guys Can Be About Race

In this smart documentary short, a bunch of gay black guys talk about the many ways race can get weird in the gay community — both with white guys treating them as exotic objects, and with the ways that white-dominated porn tends to shape their own desires as gay men.

Says one of the guys talking here, who I believe is filmmaker Cameron Johnson, talks about the almost-all-white porn sites like Sean Cody, Corbin Fisher, and CockyBoys, “You go for what you’ve been looking at.”

So, is it more about class than race, with middle-class black men just as biased against dating other black guys as middle-class white guys?

Is there more that the porn world should be doing to show hot black guys — or do not enough hot black guys manage to break through in gay porn for other reasons?

Johnson tells HuffPo, “I made this piece because I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t crazy. I couldn’t be the only gay black man [to whom] white dates have said insane things.”

 

[HuffPo]

 

50 thoughts on “Black Guys Talk About How Fucking Weird Some White Guys Can Be About Race”

  1. @James (6:11): No one archives proof for their experiences in perusing gay personals online. The guys in this video don’t have proof for their claims either, yet you seem to have no problem believing their words just fine, so it seems you’re the one making contradictory arguments.

    Your responses have all been diversionary, combative and quite hypocritical. All I saw on the blog linked your name is young naked white guys; IS IT YOURS?? You’re full of complaints but you don’t seem to answer any questions directly. If that blog is yours, that would be really hypocritical considering all the “gay porn isn’t diverse enough” complaints you’ve made. In fact, it’s so contradictory that I’m starting to think maybe you’re one of the guys in this video. Peace! ;-)

  2. Getting upset by this.

    I understand people have their types, but I always tell people “my type is none of your business”.
    Whoever I choose to date/f*** is based on their personal beauty.

    Even when I date/f*** a guy, I don’t use demographics to describe him.
    “I had sex with a Spanish guy!” < NO!
    "I had sex with a gorgeous guy! What an awesome kisser!" < YES
    The subjective is always the better way to describe him in my opinion!

    If the guys above like only white guys, so be it. Whatever. Some men like chubby guys. Some men only go for hung guys.

    I feel like we need to overcome this hurdle really soon and expand our horizons (the race hurdle). I attribute this to overexposure of some races and underexposure of other races. We're being conditioned because we're under the impression that's our preference, so we demand more of "our preference". It's a vicious cycle.

    Most guys I know actually EXPAND their sexual horizons with age. I know men who were averse to dating black/Asian men when they were younger, but expanded their horizons as they grew with age.

    Sex has so many aspects and dimensions to it. Who knows who we could end up dating/sleeping with if we opened our minds a bit more?

    I believe porn only opens up our sexual inhibitions as opposed to our tastes.

    For example… bareback is more common in porn, along with double penetration. Bigger dicks are also more desirable and more muscular frames. These are expansions, rather than differences. Is life imitating art or is art imitating life? Same with a predominantly white porn industry?

    Cut down on porn, cut down on app usage, meet guys in real life! Explore the sensuality behind sex and the individuality of the guy in person rather than the generalisation from behind the screen!

    I'm in my 20's now, but I look forward to the diversity of men I get to meet in the coming years.

    Learn to let go of your expectations you've derived from your experiences and proceed with an open mind. Rejection is inevitable, but so is growth :-)

    Peace!

  3. “So it’s okay that all of them have their reasons for preferring white guys, but it’s not okay if white guys have some of the same reasons?”

    Ummmmm, no. What’s not OK is for a white guy to ask a black guy if he will be his “n#gger.”

    1. I agree, but that doesn’t answer the question at all. All of these guys went on to explain why they prefer white men as well. Maybe they should have a look at themselves before they go trying to pitch sensitivity training to white guys. Complaining about something you’re guilty of doing is nothing but hypocrisy.

      Also, did the 2nd guy in this video decline after being asked such a question? We don’t know. I’ve seen quite a few black guys online whose profiles say they enjoy being called the N-word during sex. So while I agree no one should assume all black guys are into that, there ARE black guys that do enjoy that.

      1. “I’ve seen quite a few black guys online whose profiles say they enjoy being called the N-word during sex.”

        1? 2? 3? 10? 50? And do they say this after saying they are tops or bottoms. Not calling you a liar, but that is a mighty specific, and weird, thing for a profile. Doubt the number is “quite a few.”

        And when did it become “sensitivity training” to ask white guys not to say the n-word or say “you’re attractive for a white guy.”

        As for hypocrisy, that trait is universal.

        1. Typo. Please pardon. Meant to say this: And when did it become “sensitivity training” to ask white guys not to say the n-word or say “you’re attractive for a BLACK guy.”

          1. I think you’re starting to take this a little too personally. As I said, we don’t know the details of what led up to that moment. We also don’t even know if that moment stopped the physical encounter or not. Did he continue to deal with this person after? We don’t know because he either didn’t elaborate at all or it was edited out for some reason. Your obsession with his one line seems rather diversionary at this point.

            It’s not like I archive profiles, and since these comments are moderated, it seems like linking profiles may be prohibited. However, if you Google “Jezebel Inside the Kinky World of Race Play” you’ll find an interesting article on what seems like a full fledged scene. The article is mostly about heteros, but I’ve definitely seen the gay equivalent on some a4a and Grindr profiles.

            Is this WordPress blog linked to your name your own? I ask because you say porn lacks diversity, yet when I click the blog your name is linked to all I see is pictures of young naked white guys.

        2. “And when did it become “sensitivity training” to ask white guys not to say the n-word”

          How many times does that happen: 1? 2? 3? 10? 50? What I’m saying is we don’t know the whole situation or the context that conversation that made his partner feel comfortable enough to say such a thing. It seems like part of the story is missing, possibly for sensational effect. Not calling him a liar, but that’s a mighty specific and weird thing for a white guy to say to a black guy he’s already making out with. Had they maybe discussed “race play” before? We don’t know. Doubt it happens frequently (which is a good thing). I’m also kind of curious as to whether that stopped the hot makeout session or not because that would also let us know how truly offended he was (or wasn’t).

          HBO’s Taxicab Confessions had an episode with a couple of gay black guys that were talking about their troubles in dating (white men, of course). What I found interesting is that even being offended or hurt by these supposedly racially insensitive white guys didn’t seem to stop them from sleeping with them anyway.

          1. “I’ve seen quite a few black guys online whose profiles say they enjoy being called the N-word during sex.”

            You’re making two arguments at the same time. First you say there are all these ads where black guys say “call me n#gger as you pound me.” Then you have doubts about the story in the vid and wonder if the guy was offended.

            Let’s start somewhere safe: where are all these profiles where black guys write they like the N-word during booty time? Link, please.

          2. “I think you’re starting to take this a little too personally.”

            Not really, but thanks for throwing that out there. Just like all the black guys whose profiles include calls for racial slurs during sex.

            As for the blog, thanks for visiting. Has more than what you suggest, but you won’t like any of it. Thanks for the “talk.” Peace!

  4. So it’s okay that all of them have their reasons for preferring white guys, but it’s not okay if white guys have some of the same reasons? Yeah, that doesn’t seem hypocritical at all! There are also plenty of sites, movies and websites that are devoted to ethnic men only, these guys just aren’t interested in them because there aren’t as many white guys. lol

    1. I do not find any of their reasons acceptable just convenient. While it makes sense that you would tend to date within your immediate proximity that is a response to the question of why they date exclusively black men. That, however, does not answer the question of whether their reasons for doing so are justified. What I took from the video was the fact that these men are galled by the way that white men treat them when making advances or flirting, and rightly so. I have never seen black men who advertise to white men that they would like to be called niggers during lovemaking, but if they do that is their own pathology with which they must deal and, like you said, should not be interpreted as an invitation to treat all black men the same or to find that behavior acceptable. While they may be hypocrites for advancing the same perspective as whites I find the excuse – well that is all that I know to be both disappointing and frankly lazy. Of course, I prefer the daring of venturing out and seeking out “sexiness” in whatever form it takes and therefore the idea that a person could be completely attracted to one race or type of person is foreign to me. I have found people of every race attractive, for that matter, every height (have you seen the videos for the guy “master midget”. Worth checking out), weight, eye color, hair color, age as well. That is just me though and I hope that way of viewing what is sexy spreads.

      1. *While it makes sense that you would tend to date within your immediate proximity that is a response to the question of why they date exclusively white men.

      2. “While they may be hypocrites for advancing the same perspective as whites I find the excuse – well that is all that I know to be both disappointing and frankly lazy.”

        They’re definitely hypocrites. They’re very vocal with their preference-shaming, but then they make excuses for their own preferences. The more fem guy in the bow tie says race doesn’t matter at the end, but rewind a few minutes earlier to the “Do you have a type?” part (2:02) where he says “I got the ‘black thing’, but as far as dating, I want to try somethng different” when obviously justifying his pref for white or non-black guys. This video is 7 1/2 minutes of contradictions.

        1. Your explanation misses the point of my rebuttal. I am arguing that the perspective, whether shared by a white or black person, is fundamentally wrong. Further, regardless of their hypocrisy what you should focus on is whether what they are saying is true. Let us say that I agree with you that they are hypocrites, that would not make anything that they said less true, or for them, less hurtful. I believe that the relevant take away from this video is that men of color often experience racism in their interactions and those interactions are offensive – full stop. Regardless of how those men choose to deal with those experiences after the fact, they have still been insulted. In other words, let us say that these men did sleep with the white men who racially objectified them, would the comments made to them be any less offensive? I think the danger in the argument that you make is in dismissing what these men have to say by raising an issue that is not particularly related to the subject.

          You also responded to James’ comment early in the comment section concerning the fact that the porn industry does not celebrate (inter) racial diversity as they should. You site as a refutation to his claim several sites that show case men of color, seemingly exclusively. Let us remember that these site do not exists solely because men of color want to see men of color exclusively. They exist because these performers, by virtue of their skin color, could not find work with the mainstream studios. Those studios cater to an almost exclusively white aesthetic and any deviation from that is almost always rejected. It is fine to say that the queer community’s love of porn means that all have options, but what about those who want to see their favorite performers perform with excellent production values and in creative scenes, or with mainstream company? That option is unavailable. As I said to another poster, the concept of “separate but equal” is a social ail that continues to rob us of the true meaning of diversity. Proof of what I am saying can be taken from your very words. You remarked that when you go to a free tube site they have categories titled Black, Asian, etc. Notice how there is no category for white porn. The reason for this is clear – white is presumed the standard and everything else is the niche and the reality is that we never treat the niche as well as we do the main, or at least that what all my experience of being black and queer has taught me. I appreciate your willingness to engage this topic though, thank you for a great back and forth.

  5. There are porn website exclusively dedicated to Asians, Blacks, Latinos, etc… it’s even in their names. I don’t see what’s wrong in having some websites that cater to those who mostly like white guys. It’s strange that nothing can ever be officially white, I understand this when the context is different (clubs, companies, TV shows, etc…), but we’re talking about porn here, it’s about niches. Is it because we’re gays so we have to be into every men? What about older guys, they’re practically non-existant in porn.

    I’d like to add that personally I’m into guys of every race.

        1. I think that he was laughing at the idea that you are raising a claim about something never being able to be called “officially white”. The point is that if it is predominately or even exclusively so – like Bel Ami – then it does not need to be officially white, particularly when whiteness is presumed to be the standard and everything else is compared to it. Point of order, the very fact that there are ethnic “niches” only typifies the idea their is an official white only. These niche sites did not spring up as competition for other studios that had a wide diversity of other men, they came about as a response to the refusal of every prominent pornography studio’s decision to systemically exclude men of color from their roster of hires. It is in a sense then comparing apples to oranges.

          None of the major porn studios are considered niches, they are considered main stream and there is no coincidence that they tend to cater to exclusively a white aesthetic. Porn is not about niches, exclusion in porn is about niches. The studios in the main are the standard and anything deviating from that are classified as “niches”. That form of binary thinking is what continues to further the idea that anyone not white is not sexy and that is the real shame. This is the inherent message that has caused us to rethink concepts of “separate but equal” in every aspect of life. I will say though, I like that you live what you preach – finding a diversity of men attractive. That is what heartens me.

          1. You make very good points but let’s play the devil’s advocate, if some websites were “allowed” to be officially white only, wouldn’t that make things easier? We’d have niches of all kinds and then we could ask for more diversity in mainstream porn websites.

            The thing also is that most gay porn we see is made in western countries where homosexuality is legal and were most men are white so I believe that porn represents the population’s makeup. In Japan they only make porn with japanese people. for example.

            The reason why I challenge what’s being said in the article is because just like people from minorities I resent generalizations, to be seen as just “a white guy” who doesn’t get other people’s struggle. The “white community”, just like any other community is comprised of very different individuals. As a white man with an asian boyfriend I’m sensitive to misrepresentations of minorities (even more so than my boyfriend!).

        2. Well the shit is funny. Especially after typing this: “As a white man with an asian boyfriend I’m sensitive to misrepresentations of minorities (even more so than my boyfriend!).” So you’re all worried about the lives of minorities, even more than your Asian man (grin), BUT wonder why places just can’t be white? Like what’s the big deal? LOL!!!

  6. There should’ve been a more diverse group of black men in this video, every guy in this video seemed to be the very same guy. But I’m a black man who is mostly attracted to white men. But that doesn’t rule out anyone else of any other race. My saying is, if you’re hot, you’re hot! No matter what color your skin is. My first bf was Mexican, second was white, and currently I’m talking to a black guy.

    But it really is a downer seeing “NO BLACKS” on almost every white guy’s profile. And I’m originally from Mississippi, so that’s pretty much 100% of white guys. They say it’s only a preference, which I fully believe, but you shouldn’t completely rule out anything different than what you prefer.

  7. I’ll never understand people whose self worth is tied up in who wants to fuck them!

    I’m young and white and I love black men, but not the kind who clamor for white men. It reeks of desperation.

  8. Cockadoodledude

    As a person of color (I’m Latino and Asian) I’ve had zero problem finding sex with dudes of all different races and classes. A masc dude with a big ass can go a long way lol. My issue has been finding people to date. Let me explain some situations when I lived in NYC I had a White dude tell me, “I strictly fuck Latinos, but I can only date white men” and then in SF, I had another older, white man tell me, “You seriously don’t bareback? You are Latino, I would not have brought you home if I knew that, you really need to put that on your profile to not deceive anyone else..” At the same time, I’ve been turned down by many Black and Latino men who prefer white men. White men/people have always been preferred. Not just in the U.S.

  9. Wow! somethings I agree with and some things I do not.

    I was able to start a relationship when I was 23 with a WHITE guy! And now 29 years later I can say that i don’t think that it would have been easier to have dated a black buy.

    I know for me growing up and before i entered the Navy I had a very divers group of friends. My man and I have very good conversations about all things black and white which to me is outstanding. True he does not know what the paper bag test is and to this day we still get looks when we are together at gay events but I would not trade him in for nothing in the world.

    I think the reason I started dating white guys is because non of my brothers would talk to me when I went to the clubs for the first time in the late 70’s.

    I can remember trying to get in a club at 16 and hitting on the doorman so that he would not card me…it worked, but from that point on I could not get a black guy to look at me. Ok Ok at 16 I was 6’3″ and 185 with a full chest of hair so I could pass. But from that point on I was labeled a snow queen and I stuck with it.

    When I meet the love of my life it was very funny because we had been in the same group for about 4 months and one day after drinking a lot he came up to me in the club and said that he had never kissed a black guy and wanted to know what it was like and I said when you do let me know cause i have not kissed one either. We laughed and then he grabbed me kissed me and we have been together from that day forward.

    Would I ever date a black guy YES! But hopefully I will never be in a situation where I will need to date again.
    Would I leave home to date a black guy HELL NO!!

  10. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be black or asian in the gay world. It’s hard enough being a minority, but to be a minority within a minority must be incredibly difficult. Constantly having white men shoved in your face in mainstream porn and advertisement as objects of desire, but then see on dating/hookup sites and apps that you’re not welcomed because of your race has to take its toll on your self esteem. Race is unlike any of the other gay discriminations (masc/fem, body, age, status). You can choose how you present yourself, how you maintain your body, somewhat how you age, your sexual health, but race isn’t a choice.

    1. I don’t think that Asians have as big of a problem as blacks do in terms of people responding to them on gay apps. There’s a ton of white guys who have a thing for Asians, especially the fem twinky Asians. Every time I look at a white guy’s profile, 75% of the time it has “No blacks” somewhere on their profile. But then again I do live in TX so that doesn’t surprise me. But it’s not just limited to white guys, many Latino guys have it stated on their profile as well. I rarely see a “No Asians” on a profile.

        1. Oh I used to use African American all the time, until I took an African American literature class in college and read Brown Girl, Brownstones. We discussed this at length in class that not every black person sees their origins as coming from Africa, so today it’s more offensive than calling someone black.

          1. I am curious as to the insights you have gained on this topic – what do those who reject the classification claim is offensive about it, if you care to explain? I use the terms Black and African-American interchangeably, to refer to myself and others, depending on the context, discussion, and audience. I often find that individuals who reject the designation of African-American often do so for dubious reasons or out of a sense of ignorance as to what the term means choosing instead to claim nationality in its place.

          2. The book that sparked this conversation, Brown Girl, Brownstones is about a Bajan (from Barbados) family growing up in NYC. One of the issues that the book talks about is how Bajans don’t like being called African Americans because they don’t feel their origins as being from Africa, even though history could prove them wrong. And that isn’t limited to just blacks from the Caribbean. My cousin’s boyfriend is Honduran, and he’s about as dark as Taye Diggs, maybe even darker, and he considers himself Latino. To be more specific though, he considers himself Garifuna. He finds being called black more appropriate to being called African American.

          3. Thank you for the reply. I could see why in the case of your cousin’s boyfriend he would object to being called African-American as he is of African descent but not American (as we know it today). This would be true of Bajans that reject the term as well. If they were not born in America nor adopted American culture exclusively or even in part, then I could agree that they too would not be properly referred to as African-American and the appropriate classification would be Black. What I often experience though when I meet black people of foreign extraction is an unjustified condescension based upon what they have learned and or believe about African-Americans through decidedly invidious cultural comparisons. I have never met a person who considered the term African-American to be offensive but if they did I would have to ask simply – why? There is nothing inherently or substantively offensive about the term. While I do believe that nationalism can be quite the motivator for some, I would be inclined to believe that the real reason for the offense has less to do with their claimed sense of nationalism and more to do with their desire not to be associated with what they see as African-American culture absent evidence to the contrary. Interesting thought and nice exchange. Again, thank you for that!

          4. To me it how we are classified as Americans. There is not a European (White) American so I feel that there should not be an African American. The true reality is there is only one true American and thats the Native American. Everyone else should either have prefix.

            Look up Smokey Robinson explanation on YouTube; he explains it best.

      1. I might be biased here but I saw a lot more “no fats, femes or Asians” in hook up profiles even when I was in TX, Houston & Austin to be exact
        AFAIK, to majority of blacks/African Americans in America, “African American” is the preferred term though people dont use “african british” or “african australian” Then there’s “Asian American”

  11. I’m from Europe and i really don’t get it, is it really still an issue in the States.
    I’m white strongly attracted to colour and asians, and yes i do think porn should get more coloured.
    Love most of my black porn stars, anyway they’re the best kissers and as a top i love their hot asses…..

    1. Cockadoodledude

      Europe doesn’t have race/class issues? Yet you proudly claim yourself a white top who prefers dominating black and asian asses… It’s all good, be proud of who you are but don’t think for a second that Europe is THAT different.

        1. I think you missed my point entirely, because I never called you a racist. However, objectifying men for their race, is a form of racism.

          1. Did I miss something? Did he edit his comment or did you just jump to conclusions? Because I don’t see the word “dominate” being used by anyone but you, and YOU’RE the one making it racist. I’m black didn’t see anything racist about what he said… but I do see you overreacting.

  12. I agree a greater diversity of men would have been nice; especially in regard to the class discussion, but for a video less than 10 minutes long I really enjoyed it and found it very insightful.

    That being said, please let the man wondering about not being contacted on Grindr-type sites know there are times when I wonder if my profile (50 year old white man) is visible to anyone. It can go a long time between acknowledgements.

  13. The Other Devin

    Uh…no.

    NO.

    1. All of these brothers date white guys.

    2. Plenty of us manage to get by just fine w/o dating white guys.

    3. Those of us who don’t date white guys don’t tend to have the issues raised here.

    Just..no.

    1. Not true. I guess you and Cameron have never heard of blackmen.net or Dawgpound USA or Nextdoor Ebony or Bi Latin Men or tons of other studios all over the internet that are dedicated to ethnic gays. What if you’re short on cash? The totally free tube sites usually have gay Black, Asian, Latino, Interracial etc. categories. The beauty in the gay community’s love for porn is that we all have many options. No matter what category you fit into, there’s a channel or site/studio for it somewhere online. Maybe Sean Cody is just the wrong site for what Cameron is looking for (though somehow I highly doubt it).

  14. “These guys are so ignorant! I was BORN THIS WAY!! I was genetically encoded or something to only find white guys attractive!!111!111!!”
    -White gays

    There. I saved the white gays on this site a whole bunch of time lul

  15. “Will you be my nigger?” lmao wtf I cannot believe someone actually had the balls to say that to someone!

    The two bald clean-shaven guys in the plaid shirts are hot! The one in the bowtie is cute as hell too, but his mannerisms are a bit too feminine.

    Interesting video. I found it a bit funny how that one guy mentioned in LA all the black guys want to date white and Asian guys right after most of them have just finished mentioning the last guys they dated were mostly white. I would have liked to see them use a larger pool of black men, perhaps include some that are heavily influenced by an urban environment to see what their opinion on the whole thing is.

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