Brokinis: Hot or Not?

In case you were running out of awful swimwear options for the last month of summer, here’s a brand new look that you can try! It’s called the Brokini and it’s really, really, really fucking ugly.

The Brokini is basically just your typical brief-style swimwear with a large shoulder strap attached to it. It’s the straight, frat bro version of a cute outfit you would see a go-go dancer wearing.

Right now, you can buy the unfashionable swimwear item in two different prints. It comes in Bromingo, a pink flamingo pattern, and Fineapple, a pineapple pattern. They’re pretty standard swimwear prints with pretty standard, douchey names.

Take a look at some Brokini looks below:

 

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A post shared by Brokinis (@brokinis) on Jul 27, 2020 at 8:07am PDT

News of the Brokini launch has started making its way around Twitter this morning and it doesn’t seem like everyone is feeling the Brokini fantasy. Twitter gay @samcorb described the garment as having “all the impracticality of a singlet with literally negative sex appeal.” In the same Twitter thread, @matthewduchesne said the Brokini is “a diaper with a crossbody bag strap sewn onto it.” Yikes!

Don’t get me wrong, this is probably a great fashion choice for any straight man named Brad or Chad who is looking to turn on a look on his father’s boat that he’s borrowing for the weekend. I can already imagine some random Bradley or Chadley wearing this outfit ironically, holding a White Claw, and telling me all about how I need to invest in BitCoin.

 

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A post shared by Brokinis (@brokinis) on Jul 15, 2020 at 12:41pm PDT

What do you think of this strappy piece of swimwear? Would you rock a Brokini? Would you fuck someone that was wearing a Brokini? Vote in our poll below and sound off with your fashion opinions down in the comments!