I love BUTT Magazine as much as the next malnourished faggot slut with splotchy facial hair, but I would stop short of asking the gay culture rag to choose my fuck flicks. Remember, this is a magazine that once called Beau Breedlove, the mayor’s busted little fuckbitch, “ridiculously hot.” That statement is ridiculously incorrect.

When the Ace Hotels in Palm Springs and New York asked BUTT to pick out their porno stash, BUTT chose movies that it found “different.” But why should good porn be “different”? What’s wrong with a traditional pool-side gym bunny speedo orgy? And more importantly, while you might say it’s “different” to stick bunny ears on porn stars, I say it’s gimmicky.

The magazine’s second criterion was that the pornos be “smart.” Does BUTT want to see a bunch of dudes jerking off onto a well-worn copy of Hannah Arendt’s The Human Condition? I’d say that what makes porn smart is not artsy posturing, but rather good lighting, hard dicks and a steady camera. It is confusing that a magazine so obsessed with aesthetics does not seem to take production value into account.

Yes, I’m obligated to be annoyed by this list, and yes, there are a few well-chosen pornos here — it’s hard to argue with Michael Lucas watersports or anything directed by Joe Gage, and they did well to include The Bigger The Better. But coolness and inclusion come at a cost, and I would rather watch Josh West submit himself to a gangbang of football player muscle-studs in Quarterback Sack than watch hipsters wearing eye-shadow and furrie masks in Homopunx.

BUTT will unveil its porno line-up at the Ace Hotel & Swim Club Palm Springs at Palm Springs Pride Weekend on November 6, 7 and 8. Here’s the list, along with BUTT’s descriptions (abridged by me).

Born To Raise Hell (1975)

“Super sick and super hot, Born to Raise Hell is one of the few gay porn films that made it into the Museum of Modern Art film collection. Not for the faint of heart.”
 
A Night At the Adonis (1978)

“This one has everything you could want in a classic gay porn — it’s fun, well-paced, charming, romantic, Jack Wrangler’s cock and cum loads are incredible, and there’s great ’70s period music including an amazing mirror image sequence with Big Bill Eld set to Isaac Hayes.”

Al Parker’s Inches (1979)

“BUTT has long been obsessed with legendary ’80s porn star Al Parker, whose gorgeous bearded face, girthy cock, and ferociously sexual appetite were unmatched in the history of gay porn.”
 
BUTT Magazine Selects: J.D. Cadinot Shorts Collection

“Nobody else directed gay porn like French director Jean Daniel Cadinot. His subjects are perpetually happy skinny young French guys with big, long dicks and insatiable appetites. Cadinot’s films use jump cuts during sex scenes, making the sex seem even more fun, spontaneous, and exciting.”

The Bigger The Better (1984)

“This is probably the best selling gay porn film of all time. Rick Donovan, a Joe Dallesandro look alike with a huge, thick, meaty cock, just can’t help jerking off when he’s actually meant to be studying under his teacher’s watchful eye.”
 
The Pizza Boy: He Delivers (1986)

“‘One of William Higgins’ absolute masterpieces. I love the blow-dried hair and the tennis boy looks. The film has a very fresh look overall but also some super hot, downright dirty scenes.”

A Young Man From Nantucket (1998) and Solosexual (2003)

“Al’s story is a classic rags to riches tale: back in 1988, Al was just a horny but mild-mannered gay guy who liked conceptual art and had one very special talent: he could suck his own dick. He made a film to showcase his talent and sent a copy to Honcho magazine, which gave him a worshipful review.”

Hooked on Hispanics (1990)

“If you like Latino guys with massive uncut cocks, and if you’re into campy porno plots and setups, you will be very happy with this selection.”

Skin Gang (1999)

“Skin Gang brings together two of BUTT’s favorite contributors: legendary art/porn director Bruce LaBruce, (the man behind the queercore movement and films such as Hustler White and No Skin off My Ass) and Slava Mogutin, the Russian poet, photographer, and porn star who entered the US as the first person ever admitted for asylum based on homosexual persecution.”

BUTT Magazine Selects: The Best of Michael Lucas

“The first scene from Gigolo (2007) features two of the hottest porn stars working today: Hungarian Arpad Miklos (photographed for BUTT 24) and Zack Randall, a boyish deaf cutie.” [Ed. Perhaps “hearing-impaired” would be more appropriate than “deaf.”]

Men’s Room: Bakersfield Station (2004)

“This film is set in a spacious truck stop men’s room where truckers stop to drain their veins and then chow down on each other’s sausages.”

Take Em Down (2004)

“Take Em Down stars Tiger Tyson, the hottest Blatino star in the thugporn genre. Tiger’s pairing with the massively endowed Supreme (11.5 inches) and bottom Boi Pusee helped make this film one of the best selling ‘ethnic’ gay porn films ever made.”

Buck Off (2006)

“Buck Angel was fast on his way to becoming a big time female supermodel when he decided to change his sex and became a hot cigar smoking daddy. He describes himself as ‘the man with the pussy’ and by his reckoning, he’s the only female-to-male transsexual porn star in the business.”

Homopunx (2008)

“Essentially a porno movie version of Donatien Veissman’s Homopunk.com webzine, Homopunx features hot French and German guys having sex while wearing bunny ears, makeup, dresses, strange masks, and other funny costumes.”

DominicFord.com 3-D Gay Porn: Volumes 1 and 2

“3-D gay porn — need we say more? Pop on those glasses and experience the dicks and assholes of porn stars like Drake Jayden, Aaron James, and Patrick Kennedy practically leaping through the screen.”

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