Chick-Fil-A Launches New Pro-Gay Marketing Campaign

Do you love Chick-fil-A, but hate eating there because their chicken contains strains of untreatable chlamydia? Well, you’re in luck! Don’t fucking eat there anymore.

Also, if you’re looking for an alternative to Chick-fil-A’s spicy chicken sandwiches, drink a glass of water. Or, go to Carl’s Jr., Burger King, McDonalds, Arby’s, or KFC. They all have chicken.

That being said, Chick-fil-A has been getting a little bit of bad press lately for making some anti-gay remarks, so they’ve decided to launch a new gay-friendly marketing campaign featuring gay porn stars. “We don’t support gay marriage,” Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy told me, “but we do support gay sex. And cum. Loads of gay cum!”

Here is an exclusive preview of Chick-fil-A’s new marketing campaign:

Parker Perry's Waffle Fries
Drake Jaden's Butt Machine Spicy Chicken Deluxe
Anthony Romero's Chicken Strips w/Honey Mustard Dipping Sauce
Riley Price's Special Carrot Raisin Salad
Conner Habib's Original Chicken Sandwich
Colby Keller's Creamy Cole Slaw
James Jamesson's Chicken Nuggets W/Tangy Buffalo Sauce
Johnny Rapid's World Famous Spicy Chicken Sandwich

What do you think? Is Chick-fil-A doing the right thing by appealing to gay customers, or is this “too little, too late”?

 

26 thoughts on “Chick-Fil-A Launches New Pro-Gay Marketing Campaign”

  1. lol oh man Johnny Rapid pic is still funny! If that pic doesn’t win you blog of the year at the gay porn awards, then we should boycott those organizations and their sponsors!!!

    1. only if it’s meant to be 100% serious, but instead this falls under the category of satires and parodies, such as The Onion and Christwire.

      I just fucking love this post! and yes the Johnny Rapid pic is worthy of being a wallpaper!

  2. Am I the only gay who misses being subversive? I used to rail against such ridiculous morons, God created marriage? Huh? Does he know that the writting of his precious bible was overseen by the “true queen of England” king James? they are such idiots. but the truth is I’m O.K. with not being on their side, and having them not on mine. I see gays becoming more and more like straights as we gain “acceptance” and it saddens me. We are not like them.

    1. Yes, by all means let’s all settle for being second-class citizens so that you can retain your precious sense of counterculture disenfranchisement. Otherwise how on earth will you ever be able to feel unique and special without being marginalized?

      When you found the new country of Homosexia where we don’t have to share the same society as non-gays, then and only then can you hide behind your hypothetical borders and play the disaffected human island, turning up your nose at the stinking hetero outside world. Until then, all the orientations have to share the same space and get along, which necessitates getting people who are not like us to treat us as something other than alien freaks to be excluded, stepped on, and laughed at.

      Believe me, you will still have more than enough opportunities to segregate yourself from the rest of the world so that you can somehow feel superior for it after equal rights and privileges become available to those who want them.

  3. Love al your satire and sarcasm.

    On a more serious note DO NOT PATRONIZE CHIC ANTI GAY

    Perhaps most of your readers won’t remember this but we boycotted the FL Orange Growers and they dumped Anita Bryant.

    We can do it again NO MORE CHIC FIL A

  4. So many special sauces !

    I never eat there, but now that I see all of that uhm, special sauce …. I’m heading to the drive thru. Make mine a double (penetration).

  5. They were all ok…until the Johnny Rapid photo. I’m still laughing. I think I may make that my laptop background.

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