Gentlemen, I believe Chris Crocker has just reached the pinnacle of his likely-to-be-brief acting career, and it’s in this new parody short called “Mean Boyz,” in honor of the tenth anniversary of Mean Girls.
It’s the work of Todrick Hall, the same YouTube faggot who brought us that CinderFella video in 2012, and last year’s follow-up, Cinderoncé. He was an American Idol contestant once upon a time, but he’s had a quick rise, having recently choreographed Beyonce’s “Blow” video, shown up on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, and written the music and lyrics for Virgin America’s catchy new, highly choreographed and gay, pre-flight safety-instruction video.
This week’s entry has some pretty high production values, and stars cute Andrew Christian underwear model Colby Melvin in the Lindsay Lohan role. (We last saw him wearing those fucked up French underwear/sling things alongside Brent Corrigan.) Hall himself plays queen bitch Reggie Hall, Kory DeSoto plays the deeply stupid Kameron Smith, and Crocker plays Fetchin’ Wieners (heh), who’s “totally rich because his dad invented Grindr.”
What’s amazing about this is, clearly, that I had not realized that the perfect role to showcase Chris Crocker’s talents would involve him carrying around a Hello Kitty hairbrush, wearing tutus a la SJP, talking into a pink Hello Kitty flip phone, and acting like a total bitch for laughs. This is clearly heaven sent, and way more appropriate than doing bareback porn.
Please oh please let this become a full-length feature! No wait. It’s probably perfect as it is. It should be exactly this long, though a sex scene between Colby and that Aaron Samuels.
Oh, and Willam Belli is in it, because: obviously.