Cum: It’s What’s For Dinner

To be honest, we’re not sure whether this book is satirical or earnest, but these recipes are delicious either way. How do we know? Because we’re drinking strawberry splasharitas right now. That’s the cocktail pictured below. Combine some high-quality tequila, a splash of triple sec and some frozen strawberries. Pour into a sugar-rimmed glass and finish it off with a dollop of semen, which “will coagulate as it cools and adds a splendid finishing touch to this popular drink.”

The cover is below, followed by images of Man Made Oysters (“the more semen the better” with this dish), Veal Scallopini (“the citrus and semen scallopini sacues perfectly matches the delicate taste…of veal”) and Spunky Candied Pecans (“a great party snack”).

If only we weren’t too lazy to cook. Everything sounds delectable, but we’re sticking to our no-frills cumsicles, thank you very much.

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