Cum Jug Contest Leads to Global Chafing

Since apparently semen cookbooks and cumsicles are not enough, we’re glad that students at England’s leading university are furthering the semen cause. “We refuse to think that in this world there is not even one young person in [pajamas] hidden between the four walls of his room able to spend 3 hours a day on this challenge,” the contest holders write.

Once you register on the website and send these pervs your address, they will send you a regulation jug. Competitors must send photographic evidence of their progress after six months. The first man to fill his jug wins, pending verification. The prize? 50 liters of milk a month for a year. Just what we always wanted!

Below, sample photographs tracking the progress of gross men from around the globe. Then, a trailer explaining the contest. It can be viewed in six different languages. To borrow a phrase from our doctor, this semen thing is about to go viral.