So instead of slapping Joel Perry for his awful advice, allow us to massage Dan Savage for his lovely advice. A couple weeks ago, Savage promised to answer every letter he received from readers who gave at least $25 to No on 8. Which means that he’s been answering a lot of questions — questions that he’d normally be deleting instead. Like this one below. (Our favorite part is when he calls the reader a disgusting fag.)
How long will come keep? Even when my boyfriend blue-pills it and works my hole for a few hours, by the time I push it out there’s hardly enough for ONE gulp—to say nothing of filling a champagne flute. As hot as it sounds, I’m NOT going to invite 10 of our closest friends to dump loads in me. I figure my boyfriend and I could freeze our loads, push them up my butt, and he can churn them as he works my hole. But can come go bad? I’d rather not ask my doctor.
Desperately Seeking Semen
P.S. We’ve been together for five years and stopped using condoms four years ago after testing. No risk of the pest.
Gross-out letters from teenage straight and/or closeted boys pretending to be disgusting fags don’t usually include information about testing and the length of the relationship, which leads me to believe that you might actually be disgusting fags. So I will answer your disgusting question:
You and your boyfriend will gulp down loads—or sip ’em out of champagne flutes—after you’ve pushed them back out of your ass, DSS. Do you really think that frozen-and-then-defrosted come, even if it’s gone “bad,” is going to be any worse than the slop you’re already putting in your mouths?
This disgusting fag reminds us of several videos done by another group of disgusting fags. We’re talking about everyone’s favorite hole-breeding production company, Treasure Island Media, which has released several films involving a “devil’s dick.” That’s when you freeze multiple loads from multiple men into a cumsicle. The frozen dildo is then shoved up the gaping ass of some perverse bottom — like, *cough*, Mike O’Neil’s — and fucked and fucked and fucked some more. (We’re not providing links for a reason, people.)
Savage Love (The Stranger)
Below: "The Long Stroke," the cable news spoof, the candid photos, your new favorite euphemism and the great Christian retreat.
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