Sure, we were a bit crestfallen that we wouldn’t have the old red-headed cougar leaving her snail trail across Erik Rhodes’ chest, but we didn’t think we deserved the response we got on Derek’s blog:
“I know you are upset about not getting to host the porn awards (that
must be the end of the world), but is it necessary to discount the work
someone did on a global scale to combat homophobia? You know, to make
the streets safe for a low life piece of shit like you. Oh and she had
a fucking baby! What have you done with your life? Frosted your tips? …
Sorry she has been too busy to have an eating disorder or a meth habit,
she is raising a baby and hosting a national radio show.“
Quel beast! We have not frosted our collective tips, though we appreciate the homophobic
sentiment. Honestly, The Sword is just sort of bored with babies, no
offense. And gay marriage. And we have no desire to host the awards
show (that was Jason Sechrest). We’re not public figures, though we
never thought of ourselves as anonymous, either-in fact, the whole
matter of not signing off on articles has been considered an exercise
in sacrificing our egos for a unified voice. Of course, if you want to
attack me, the author of that particular entry, here is your ammunition. But if you really want to know more about us-our About Us section gives you our raison.
We knew when we launched that we’d be upsetting some of the gay sacred
cows. We just didn’t realize how sensitive the cud-chewers would be!
Siriously, we’re GLAAD you have a radio show, but we’re sorry to say it’s just not
our cup of tea. (JK! NO PNP! NO BB! STAPH FREE!)
UPDATE: Romaine threatened to punch me in the face on live radio! HATE CRIME!
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.