Or send him a stuffed teddy bear? Our favorite mean guy, still smarting from the loss of his assistant/slave Patrick and his on-again-off-again relationship with Titan has erupted over a mysterious porn-related heart break that even we can’t figure out (hint: it was with one of the stars of Brent Corrigan’s “Summit.” 

If we weren’t all ready concerned about our carbon footprint, we’d fly to NY and take the nine-hundred foot tall sex god out for a malted ourselves. In the meantime, the soft-hearted Diesel has let his even crazier personality, “Dexter Delarge” take over, cursing the downside of love:

 

 

 

Love is what makes ya climb into the apartment of Ur Ex and torch their stuff and watch it go into flames!!!!

Love is what makes ya Dent Ur Ex’s car door and put scratch marks all over their shit!!

Love is when u Stalk Ur Lover and find their new Love interest and Kick their Ass!!!!

Love is when U cant sleep cause U keep thinking who Ur Ex is sleeping with at night!!!

Love is putting up with all the annoying habits of Ur Lover, instead of taking a Fork and stabbing them in the head with it!!

Oh-kay. We were with you up until the fork-stabbing thing. We’re backing away slowly now.

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Dexter Delarge is Hating Love (Crimes Against Nature)