Motivational speaker, Huffington Post Gay Voices blogger, self-help guru, and male model Jordan Bach has written an inspiring blog post today asking for gay people to love themselves, love each other, and reject the negative aspects of society that seek to divide our community, and I’m writing a blog post today asking how big his dick is.
How big is Jordan Bach’s dick? It’s impossible to say since there aren’t any Jordan Bach dick pics on the internet and I don’t know anyone who has fucked Jordan Bach. (Have you fucked Jordan Bach? Email me.) I’ve tweeted Jordan Bach from my personal Twitter and the TheSword.com’s Twitter asking how big his dick is, but he blocked both accounts. (Don’t worry though: According to Jordan Bach’s Twitter profile, he won’t hold my curiosity against me, because “Hateful tweeple will be forgiven and blocked.”)
Today Jordan Bach wrote, “My intent has always been to inspire gays to discover the best in themselves,” and my intent is to find out how big his dick is. Can you tell from these pics?
Unfortunately, you can’t really tell.
How big is Jordan Bach’s dick? Scientific research has proven time and time again that you can often tell the size of someone’s dick by the length of their sentences; specifically, the longer someone’s sentence, the longer their dick. Does this sentence from Jordan Bach’s Huffington Post Gay Voices blog post mean that Jordan Bach has a big dick?
I want to start having discussions about personal issues that affect us, like body image, relationships, and life purpose, in a way that is enlightening and uplifting, not sarcastic or overly eroticized.
Can you tell if Jordan Bach has a big fat cock from all of these other sentences he wrote?
Together, we must clarify our intention and affirm that we want love. In all the little ways in which we indulge in gossip, snarky talk, and making jokes about other people, we are beaming a clear intention into the ether, and we mustn’t be shocked when that nastiness comes floating back to us. What are we saying about who we are when we deride each other for our appearance, our social status, our gender expression, or our age? What message are we sending to the young queer children around the world when we wallow in the pain of our past, endlessly judge and blame our enemies, and yet are unwilling to generate peace in our own relationships? That future generation is listening with ready ears and watching with peeled eyes, waiting for us to show them how to be. How vain is it for us to want acceptance from the outside world while we refuse to be willing to extend it to ourselves and to each other?
Can you tell if Jordan Bach has an enormous dick from this self-help video about how to take a shower, in which he shows his (presumably) completely nude body from the shoulders up? Can you imagine Jordan Bach’s outrageously monstrous cock just hanging there down below, completely exposed, dripping wet, and slightly engorged due to the fact that he gives himself a boner whenever he hears himself speak? I can.
Can you tell the truth about how big Jordan Bach’s big dick really is based on this self-help video about coming out of the closet and admitting that you are in love with big dicks?
How big is Jordan Bach’s dick?
I want to touch, hold, and suck Jordan Bach’s big dick. But, how big is it?
Can you tell how big Jordan Bach’s dick is based on his comp card from his modeling agency?
6’1 and a SIZE 13 SHOE??? I think we might be a little closer to knowing how big Jordan Bach’s dick is. Until then…