In his latest blog post, Steve Cruz writes that he probably spends too much time on hook-up sites, and he zeroes in on two profile “oddities” that particularly irk him. The first is monogamous couples who post their cock pics without any intention of straying from their relationship:

I don’t know, maybe it’s a sign these sex sites have become our gay social network. Do monogamous gay couples feel left out? Party crashers fogging up with window with their sad faces and throbbing erections pressed up against the glass. Horny and repressed? Sometimes, maybe. Smugly superior? hmmm. Maybe its more like they want to know if they were single, how much attention they’d be getting. If you do hit them up (often by mistake), they love to read you the riot act!! Either way its a trap.

I responded to one such couple. They, or one of the ‘they’, sent me a “you’re hot” message. I liked what I saw x2 and quickly replied. A week later I got back a rude message… actually they thought I was rude, and arrogant for writing to them. “Can’t you see we are a couple?” It was one of my rare moments of speechlessness. Thank you profile blocking!

The second type: those who are “looking for love in all the wrong places.” One such man had a profile with no pictures other than of his “crazy 10.5 inch kidck, 10.5 — when flaccid.” Steve hit him up of course but received a “really snappy response.”

I was left confused. So I dug deeper into his profile: There it was! His 4 paragraph diatribe, I mean, description. How could I have missed it! “If you are into me for my huge cock- think again!” and “I’m more than a piece of meat to be tamed” …and the rest was about his quest for love, commitment and the pursuit of a soul mate. And ended with, “You must be as hung as I am or I won’t respond”… seriously?

OK let’s just pretend for second that his potential soul mate is not actually a Tom of Finland cartoon. I’d say, hell yeah man! You deserve to be respected for more than your huge uncut, dare I say delicious, cock. Being a porn star, I can surely empathize with your right to be loved for the person within. Except we have no idea who that might be because, dude, you’re on a hook up site advertising a giant cock!

Try Match.com?? and maybe lead with a nice face photo and a poem. Then again, they don’t have a ‘must have freakishly huge penis’ requirement in their search criteria. Hmmm, quandry!

Read the full blog post here. Below is my favorite picture ever of Steve Cruz, taken by The Sword at the 2008 GayVNs.

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Skype to the hand… (Steve Cruz blog)