Election 2008: Our Endorsements

For President of the United States of America: Barack Obama

That’s right. Although Sarah Palin is hot, sexy and declaratively tolerant of gay people, she unfortunately does little to buff McCain’s pruny hide. We like Senator Obama’s plan for the economy, his voice, and his big black cock. j/k. Maybe it’s small. We also carefully weighed the candidates’ platforms against each other. Obama’s weighs 143 pounds. McCain’s? Just 84 pounds. The choice, we think, is clear.

For Vice President of the United States of America: Sarah Palin, naturally, as interpreted by Candi Gurl.

For Proposition 8:
No on 8, out of sheer human kindness. (We’re supposed to vote for something that’s going to leave less single men on the market?)

for Propositions 1, 1a, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, and 12: Present.

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