Our Exclusive: Rocco Steele On Coming Out, Cleaning Up, & Life After Porn

Rocco’s flexes his biggest organ in part two of our exclusive interview on growing up Catholic, overcoming substance abuse, and making money with his pants on.

When the first part of our interview appeared on November 2nd, the second part was already finished. Like many of us, Rocco Steele was hoping for a different outcome on Election Day.

But in a bit of foreshadowing of our current reality, Rocco wrote. “I think we need to realize that as comfortable as things got for us in the last few years, the fight is not over. Our rights are being chipped away daily in places like North Carolina and Alabama. If we sit back and think we are on easy street, we are wrong.”

He’s right about that, and as you will see in Part Two below, about a lot of other things as well.

The Sword: You’ve seen a lot of evolution in the gay community since you came out. What was coming out like for the man behind Rocco Steele?

Rocco Steele: I know that even today, not everybody has a smooth coming out story. Many more do than when I came out 25 years ago, but there are still instances of parents disowning children or worse, abusing them for being who they were born to be. I was extremely fortunate. I grew up with two parents who were children of the depression and were not even able to go to high school, let alone graduate. They worked hard and they were good Catholics. Typically, the more educated one is, the more liberal they are in their views. One would think that my parents, if following that line of reasoning, would not have been open to having a gay son. Surprisingly, that was not the case. My mom was wonderful. She never gave it a second thought. I remember her hugging me and telling me she always knew. I have three older sisters (I am the only boy) and they all loved the thought of having a gay baby brother. My dad…. well…let’s just say we never spoke of it again. He never treated me differently but we never spoke of it again.
As for the rest of my family, I have nieces and nephews and they all know and have known their uncle is gay since they were young. My sisters did a great job in introducing it and then not making a big deal about it. So needless to say, I’ve felt very comfortable being me for the last 25 years of my life. I’m so grateful for that.

What do you think are the biggest issues facing our community today?
In light of what happened in Orlando and ripple effects thereafter (like hate notes left on cars in NYC a week later saying “death to the homosexuals), it’s clear that there is still hatred towards our community. We’ve come so far just in the last 10 years alone and marriage equality I think gave us this false sense that there was a level playing field. But there’s not. We need to not let our guard down and keep reminding the world how formidable we are as a group. We need to stand unified because we are so influential when we do. We need to let politicians know that if you fuck with our rights, we will hold you accountable because we have the power to do that.

So, I think we need to realize that as comfortable as things got for us in the last few years, the fight is not over. Our rights are being chipped away daily in places like North Carolina and Alabama. If we sit back and think we are on easy street, we are wrong.

You’ve become very political in the past several months on social media especially. Do you think this is compatible with your brand and do you worry about any backlash due to your views?
I think the last several months have gotten most of America riled up. I was never one of those people who used to say Trump would never be the Republican candidate. I always knew/feared it was possible to elect such a person in this country. I come from a small town in the Midwest and although the area was very working class/democrat, I know how easy it is for extreme conservative views to flourish in those areas as well. So, I knew that there was enough of an ignorant base out there that would eat up every word out of his mouth. So, as it became more and more apparent that he was going to be the candidate, I knew I needed to do my part. I couldn’t sit quiet. I know there are fans who don’t agree with me and I have fans who stopped following me because of my extreme liberal rhetoric but I’m ok with that. I’m a proud gay American. I believe as gays, the Democratic Party represents our needs way more than the Republican Party. I’m going to do whatever I can to ensure we keep the White House this year. If stayed silent, I would regret it.

You have been very open about your recovery from drugs and alcohol. Do you think the gay community and its relation to drugs is any different now than it was when you were using?
This is tough to say. I have no factual proof that drug use now is worse than it was when I was using but it feels like it is.

When I was young and gay, our community was dying of AIDS, not drugs. I’m not saying it didn’t happen but I NEVER heard of one person dying back then from drugs. I’m sure it happened, of course, but it wasn’t as prevalent as it is today.

Nowadays it’s so commonplace to hear of somebody having an G overdose at a club. I know club owners who talk about how many people were taken away on stretchers in one night like it’s so normal. Gay men speak of mixing up their G like they’re ordering a beer. I keep hearing stories of guys dying in hotels rooms…like I hear it a lot. It’s so troubling.

I have traveled a lot over the last two years and I’ve seen drug use in other parts of the world as well. It’s bad everywhere. Without belittling AIDS or comparing the two, gay drug abuse is the new epidemic yet we are not talking about it. We need to be talking about this more. Those who have influence in our community need to speak up.

There may be gay men reading this who are struggling with a decision to get sober. What advice/guidance would you offer to them?
Getting sober is such a personal decision. A person must be ready and accept that their life has become unmanageable because of drug and/or alcohol abuse. It’s tough because our community has a culture of recreational drug use. When you’re a gay man with friends all using drugs, it’s hard to step back from that and admit you may have to quit. The thought of losing friends and your life as you know it may seem scarier than the troubles that accompany drug abuse in your life. If you happen to be an addict, meaning you have the disease of addiction, it’s even harder to break the grip.

The good news is there is a solution. Recovery groups for alcohol, crystal, cocaine, etc. exist everywhere in the world. Being in recovery can teach you the tools to cope with life and social situations without the need for alcohol and drugs. It can be done. I’ve been doing it for almost 18 years. I go out to dinner, I go to parties and maybe an occasional bar or club…and I never drink or do drugs. My life is full and exciting and I have never wanted to fuck it up by going back to drinking or drugging.

Not confusing visibility as acceptance, who do you see being role models worth emulating as the new generations of gay men come of age and carry on the fight.
I am old school and still look up to and are inspired by such icons like Peter Staley and Larry Kramer. The contributions they have made to our community are humbling. I can only hope to get to a place in my life where I can give back to the community, even in a fraction of the way these men have.
I have also been reading about many young men and women in our community who are the new generation of activists and advocates and I am very inspired by them as well.

This year has been exciting for you because as you mentioned, you have launched your line of underwear. What does the future look like for Rocco Steele?
My five-year plan is this: I want to continue to build my brand and grow my underwear line. I want to offer more styles, including jocks (which I will begin to offer in the next two months). I want to be known as Rocco, that guy who used to do porn but now is the king of underwear.

Of all the things that have come from this journey I’ve been on; I would say launching my own underwear brand was the most exciting. I have worked for big retail companies for many years, helping them make decisions to make them more successful. I have always wanted ‘my own thing.” Creating this business and building my brand has been the most satisfying thing I have done in my life. I am one of those people who does not have the DNA to work for other people. I have done it but I always felt like I was suffocating. Now I make all the decisions; I live and die by them. It’s scary as fuck…but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 
 
 
Once again, The Sword would like to thank Rocco for his time, candor, honesty, and helping us to all to end a rough couple of weeks on a positive, forward-looking note.

Have a great weekend, guys.

 
 
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