Fleet Enemas have come to dominate America’s $30 million-per-year enema market, according to Portfolio, by branding enemas as part of a general health regimen. But it took until now for the company to go after the well-worn wallets, and lower intestines, of gay consumers.
Every good little faggot knows to pour the liquid that comes with Fleet Enemas down the drain and fill it with regular water. That’s because the original solution contains a laxative aimed at preventing constipation. But replacing the liquid won’t be necessary with the new dispoable douches, called Fleet Naturals, now that Fleet has replaced the laxatives with aloe. What’s more:
The original version used a petroleum-based lubricant on its tip, but the new one uses a water-based lube, a nod to the fact that it may be deployed in close proximity to sexual intercourse with latex condoms that can break when they interact with petroleum products.
This is progress, fellow homosexuals, but I personally will not be satisfied until Immodium follows suit by changing its slogan from "multi-symptom relief" to "just 8 hours until the sling fisting party."
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.