Gah!


Being the desperate idiot I am, I clicked a link to The Advocate to read what their take would be on Jodie Foster’s big anti-coming out, pro-celebrity privacy speech, and instead of being lulled to sleep like usual, I LOL’d (literally, I laughed out loud) at the gigantic picture of editor in chief Matt Breen’s face staring (glaring?) at me. Stop looking at me! Imagine if for every article you opened on The Sword, there was a picture of my face, 10x larger than the font and taking up over 1/3 of the left side of the screen, shooting daggers at you with piercing eyes and a half-cocked grin that either says “I want to fuck you” or “I am the guy on the wall in the Supercuts.” Jesus!

I would hope you would never click on my articles again, because no one should be subjected to this when all they are trying to do is find out about Jodie Foster. Please, God, can someone put Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes speech into some sort of context so that I can be at peace with myself and my love for Jodie Foster? No! Instead:


Oh, Matthew Breen went on to write some words about Jodie Foster,  and I’m sure he did a horrible/boring job of excusing whatever it is she needs to be excused for, but I didn’t read any of them. I gave up.

I give up. I’m not clicking any more links. Get your face out of my face.

(And as far as Jodie Foster goes: Can’t someone just be a total fucking crazy person without people having to write 800 or 3000 words about her? What more should anyone expect from the person who is BFF’s with the man who gave us “sugar tits”?)

 

16 thoughts on “Gah!”

  1. It was OUT which did a cover of two people where one was wearing an Anderson Cooper mask and the other a Jodie Foster mask. It kind of pisses me off when others think they can dictate when and how a closet case should come out. I am perfectly fine with outing jerks who spread anti gay hate and bigotry, but a lof of actors still feel like they need that fake closet case image for a living and their career.

  2. Ha Ha
    I was actually looking forward to reading his whole article here but it is cut short.
    I did watch the speech online and I have to agree it was stupid and confusing and just dumb. You know if Mel Gibson claps for you, you must be in trouble.

  3. “Can’t someone just be a total fucking crazy person without people having to write 800 or 3000 words about her?”

    You mean like majority of the people you “covered” in this site?

    Hypocrisy.

    “What more should anyone expect from the person who is BFF’s with the man who gave us “sugar tits”?”

    A lot more than anyone should expect from you.

    1. Criminy, what the fuck did Zach Sire do to you? What are these Pulitzer-esque standards of journalism you seem to be holding him to? I know it’s hard to differentiate the sarcasm from the facts here sometimes, but maybe you need to go to CNN.com or something for whatever it is you’re looking for.

  4. You must remember this…A dike is just a dike …Woman needs man…And man must have his mate… That no one can deny…The world will always welcome lovers…As fags go by…

      1. QUICK! Sniff Her Chair While It's Warm

        You gotta love 1/2. Context evades him. He is a Tourettes gift.

        But I would fuck the pictured SVU defense counsel haaard or did he kill Martha Raye? Rip that Bosley sew-in to pieces whilst assaulting his tonsils. Put the lotion in his basket! HOT…BIG ASS HEAD!

        Ya know, kids under 25 were Google trending the hell outta JF. They thought he was the white man who saved Kristen Stewart from Jared Leto in some movie.

        Did you know she was single? Dating Mel Gibson too. He is so sexy & modern & progressive. Should name a condom after him.

        Beaver Reliever. Bet Mel fucks hard too.

      2. Some self-aggrandized PR machine disguised as a porn blog with entry-level HRO hit-drawing tactics. This, of course, makes me wonder as to why Zach insists on laughably tackling things outside his “comfort zone”. It’s as if he’s desperately trying to make himself look stupid.

        “and I’m sure he did a horrible/boring job of excusing whatever it is she needs to be excused for, but I didn’t read any of them.”

        Had he read it, then he probably wouldn’t have made that idiotic comment.

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